Thursday, January 31, 2013

1/30/13 Main Event

The show begins with a video package of Heyman's "Performance Review" on RAW, plus Lesnar's return at the end. Heyman is an outstanding actor and really made that segment pure gold.

Miz TV starts the show, just so that Tony Chimel can do his best "Da Bears" spoof when announcing Miz. Ryback is the guest tonight. Hey, who woulda thought Ryback is a fan of Miz's show? Really? Really. Ryback doing the whole "joking but staying serious" stuff on the mic. Hey, those are comfy couches, you know. Gotta relax and stuff. Clips of last week shown when Miz threw Cesaro in the ring against Ryback. Cesaro interrupts and accuses Miz and Ryback of conspiring against him. We basically get right to the match.

Ryback vs. Antonio Cesaro: Rematch from last week, probably because of Miz's interference last week. Ryback in control early on, and he delivers probably the longest delayed vertical suplex in company history. Ryback continues the punishing offense on Cesaro, but then Ryback crashes into the ringpost. Cesaro content with a countout victory but that won't happen. Cesaro doesn't like people who are famous for being famous. Gotta love that reality TV stuff! Meathook to Cesaro. The champ crawls out of the ring and tries to get away. Cesaro keeps playing keepaway and gets a cheap shot to Miz before bailing through the crowd. *3/4

Footage of the "interesting" segment involving Brodus Clay and Tensai. Let's never see Tensai in lingerie ever again. Please. Spare everyone's eyes.

Primetime Players make fun of Tensai in the backstage area. Didn't realize a BMW stood for "Body Made Wrong."

Tensai vs. Titus O'Neil: OK, personally, I can't believe this match lasted as long as it did. A typical big-man match here with basic moves. Slow pace. Numbers game allows Titus to gain control but then Brodus Clay comes down because he now feels bad that Tensai had to wear lingerie. Yeah, it was your fault to begin with, Mr. Funkasaurus. Coulda told Tensai about the dance-off. Never woulda thought a "Let's Go Tensai!" chant would come from the WWE Universe. And now Tensai shows the personality by mocking Titus' dog bark. Tensai does that bizarre shoveling thing he did during the dance-off and hits the senton on Titus for three. Brodus and Funkadactyls get in the ring to dance with Tensai as the show ends. *3/4

Tensai appears groomed for a "comedy-filled" face turn with Brodus, and I put that in quotation marks because it's more cheesy than anything else. Still, I'm all for it because Tensai otherwise is just another large jobber with a ton of tattoos. Give him a personality and make it a face run. It worked for Big Show and Kane on multiple occasions. You can always turn a large man back to a heel monster whenever you want.

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