Friday, February 24, 2012

2/23/12 Impact

Ratings:
Samoa Joe & Magnus vs. Matt Morgan & Crimson (Tag Team Titles): *1/4

Zema Ion vs. Alex Shelley: *3/4

Gail Kim vs. ODB: N/A (failed to watch)

Robbie E vs. AJ Styles (TV Title): *3/4

Kurt Angle & Bully Ray vs. James Storm & Jeff Hardy (No DQ): **3/4
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Reviews/Thoughts:
Roode out for the opening promo and Sting's tweet "I'm done" is addressed. Good teaser for Sting's promo later to address the situation.

Crimson is still billed as undefeated because Morgan was the one getting pinned in their tag losses. Nice predictable technicality. Good hot tag to Morgan; crowd got into the match. Again, communication issues with Morgan and Crimson lead to the champs retaining. So how long more until Morgan and Crimson actually feud again?

Brandon Jacobs even gets his own music coming out to the ring? How nice of TNA. So Eli Manning gets to go to Disney World, and Jacobs gets Impact Wrestling? I think I'll go with Brandon on this one. He calls out Bully Ray. Oh no, not Bully's calves! Intimidating! Sure, leave it to a football player to get the biggest pop of the night so far. These Impact fans are so deprived. Looks like Storm and Hardy have a plan to let Jacobs get to Bully later.

I'm sure Zema Ion legitimately feels bad he injured Sorensen. But it could seriously do wonders for his heel act. I wonder if that's really hair spray, or if they filled the can somehow with water. Not that it matters. Aries enjoying the action with popcorn and a drink. Way to stick a can of hair spray in your pants, Mr. Ion. Cheating gets him the win in a rather short match.

I didn't see the match between Gail Kim and ODB. It was non-title and Gail won. I'm sure ODB slapped her boobs a bunch. And I'm sure Eric Young was somewhere on the outside making an ass of himself.


Video on Jesse Sorensen. Thoughts from his mom shown as well. Hoping for a speedy recovery for this guy. Very talented.

Hey, this is a way to get Robbie over as a somewhat legit champ...have him actually face quality talent in AJ Styles with the title on the line. And you know Daniels and Kaz will interfere somehow. Robbie got some nice offense in for a change, instead of having some slow, boring segments. AJ with a short comeback before Kaz and Daniels come out on cue.

But this time, Kaz looks serious and pissed. He takes AJ and throws him into the post. DQ win for Styles but no title. Daniels looks perplexed as Kaz walks to the back. Interesting twist.

The main event tag match is no DQ, so it'll be easier to get Jacobs involved. Borash does quick intros, except Bully who introduces himself. Strong match here. Meanwhile, Styles is livid about what happened? You don't say?

Good hot tag to Storm. Hardy also involved. Bully wants a table. Faces get the table Angle eats a Last Call superkick. Jacob senters the ring. Three-point stance! Love this. And Brandon Jacobs delivered one of the best chokeslams ever. Seriously. Thank Bully for that one. Nice finish.

Sting starts his promo, then Roode comes out. As expected, Sting's not legitimately done. He's just gonna become a wrestler again to kick Roode's ass at Victory Road. Vintage Sting face paint! Kick to Roode's nuts. Nice way to end this episode.
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And that's a wrap for now, folks. I'll be too busy with exams most of next week to update then, but I'll return by next Friday and likely use next weekend to catch up on the latest.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

2/23/12 Superstars

Ratings:
Michael McGillicutty vs. Alex Riley: **3/4

Tyler Reks vs. Mason Ryan: *1/4

Jinder Mahal vs. Justin Gabriel: **
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Reviews/Thoughts:
So how is A-Ry a rare breed again? Yeah, I bet a bunch of you didn't know, either.

Pretty good between A-Ry and MM. Crowd was into it at times, while the middle segments were quite dead. MM does the somersault neck snap move just as well as his dad. Not a fan of MM's neckbreaker finisher. Everything else in the last few minutes was awesome.

Reks and Ryan battled. Mason's comeback offense didn't seem very impressive. But I was impressed Reks hit that gut-wrench twisting finisher thing on Ryan. Predictable heel cheating to win.

Main event was Jinder and Justin. Good mat wresting at the start, and Striker nicely pointed out the mat style is a stark contrast to what Gabriel usually does. Mahal slowed things down, which is nice strategy, but man, is it boring to watch.

Dammit Striker, don't talk about a dislocated kneecap on Mahal when it's clearly not so, especially after what legitimately happened to Wade Barrett's elbow on RAW. I liked Mahal's knee to the back, followed by the Camel Clutch. Or is it supposed to be a Punjabi Clutch?

2/22/12 NXT

Ratings:
Tyson Kidd vs. Tyler Reks: ***

Titus O'Neil vs. Alex Riley: *1/4
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Reviews/Thoughts:
Tyson Kidd growing out his hair and becoming a face could be a good start for this guy in 2012. The same method really isn't working for Ezekiel Jackson, but Kidd has the high-flying moves to really get over with the fans. Kidd again got time to show his stuff. I initially wasn't a fan of Tyson getting moved to NXT, but it turned out to be a pretty sweet move. Kidd won the same way Bret Hart won against Mr. Perfect at SummerSlam '91 to win the IC title. Caught the leg on the legdrop, turned it into a sharpshooter. Very solid.

Ha, Striker plays guitar? Striker can do a bunch of matchmaking, but has no power to get Maxine off NXT? How lovely. Frankly, anything to get this stupid storyline with Johnny Curtis, Bateman, etc. over with.

Speaking of a Hart/Perfect revisited, try Kidd vs. McGillicutty next week. Last Hart dungeon graduate vs. son of Curt Hennig. Maybe this could actually be the start of MM's big break around here...?

Darren Young on commentary. So now, only Titus gets an actual match this week of all the NXT rookies? Screw it, the show now isn't about rookies, redemption points, and all that jazz. Percy Watson came down during the match and no one cared. This is a time where the commentary just took away from what was going on in the match. Then again, the match was not really that great.

Only two matches?!

Striker drops a bombshell for next week. Damn man, it's already been one year of this season? 52 episodes? Ugh. I hope this announcement next week has something to do with people getting off the show and/or new faces on the show. These acts are just immensely stale right now.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

2/21/12 Smackdown (Live)

Ratings:
Sheamus vs. The Miz: *3/4

Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston & R-Truth: *

Drew McIntyre vs. Great Khali: N/A (lame...)

Big Show vs. Mark Henry: *

David Otunga vs. Ezekiel Jackson: 1/4*

CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan: ***3/4
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Reviews/Thoughts:
First of all, best wishes to Wade Barrett for a speedy recovery. I watched the injury unfold again, and it's a shame. Pretty sure it could have easily been avoided. Use the other side (with the entrance ramp) so you got more room. The announce table was in the way, Show threw Ziggler too far, and Dolph nearly got seriously hurt there. In fact, I initially feared it was DZ with the huge injury and not Wade. Wade's injury could speed up the returns of Mark Henry and Christian to WWE TV.

I wonder if they'll have a new DB shirt with "Yes! Yes! Yes!" on it. Crowd chants for Punk while DB talks about Sheamus. I loved Miz coming out to interrupt DB. Now Miz obviously says he knew all along DB would become champ. I'm not sure I'd like to see a tag team with Miz and DB.

When Sheamus came out, he took Miz's mic (with the upside down WWE logo). Oops. DB with the bitchslap on Sheamus and hightails it. Helps ignite the feud a little more. In the meantime, Sheamus took care of Miz. Yup, Miz is in the doghouse. It may not be the biggest freefall from the previous year (main eventing WM 27), but still unfortunate. Hopefully Miz turns things around (apparently, his attitude backstage is not the best).

I'm laughing now that Cole has jumped on the DB bandwagon. Good match with Miz. Celtic Cross wins it. Sheamus getting Finlay's old finisher over as a lethal move. Love that. Having a lot of go-to moves or huge impact moves is great for main eventers. Multiple ways to win, longer matches, etc.

Aksana and Teddy in the back. No more elbow drops for Aksana, please.

Tag match next. Kofi and Truth now teaming together? Shall we wish Evan Bourne the best in his future endeavors right now? And no Cole, you have made more than one mistake in the last year. Is Vickie OK? Yes Cole, Vickie is fine. She has cushion to break her fall. Relatively short match. Understandable here since everyone here has wrestled a lot in the last three days.

Ron Simmons going into the WWE Hall of Fame. Love it.

Santino with cobra target practice. Yes, that was Eugene's old music. Poor Heath Slater. Now we're introduced to a "spitting" cobra. This a new spin on green mist?

Oh good grief. McIntyre against Khali. This was what, 30 seconds tops? Please put Khali in a permanent non-wrestling role. He's good for promotional purposes, but he sucks in the ring.

Big Show has a you-know-what list! Vintage angry Big Show!

I like Mark Henry's entrance. Camera looks down the ramp so it gets the back of Henry's shirt and makes Mark look more larger than life. Match was slow, and Mark did lots of trash talking. Cody came out to interrupt this one and showed the sumo match where Show faced Akebono. Henry with a bodyslam and splash but Show kicked out. Thought it was actually over right there. Show with WMD and went after Cody. So...a no-contest now? Awkward end, but it works in the long run.

Lilian botched Otunga's entrance, oops. Not the first time Lilian messed up, but hey, she's beautiful and worked in WWE over 10 years. I'd rather listen to her than Cole any day.

Filler match here. What the hell did Zeke do to lose to Otunga two days in a row? If it was a bodybuilding contest, Otunga may score some points. He didn't learn that from Cole or Laurinaitis, that's for sure.

Video package on Eve's heel turn. Cena was really on his "A" game last night.

Punk can seriously do a killer impression of Laurinaitis' voice. Big win.

OK, like I said a few weeks ago, can Punk and Bryan go at it every week? Let them wrestle the entire show. Yet again, these two got time. Can't argue with that. Crowd was hot for this one all the way. Nice chain wrestling at the start. DB attacked Punk's left arm. Great selling from Mr. Straight Edge. Nice backbreaker out of the rest hold by Punk. Sheamus blatantly interfered in front of the ref, yet no DQ? Big kick to DB and Punk gets three. Hold the phone. Laurinaitis says match continues. So much for "ref's decision is final," eh? Such arbitrariness in using that. Physicality on the outside, DB cheats with the ropes to win. Hold the phone again! Long comes out and asks the match to restart on that "injustice." Cole now livid, duh.

The intertwining of this GM feud was a nice way to extend the proceedings. Actually a good shot of Laurinaitis on the comfy announcer's chair and Long on a regular steel chair. Watch people make a huge deal out of that and call racism. #SMH

Big kicks and outstanding counters from Punk and Bryan. This proves you don't need to innovate moves to keep people interested. I loved the double pin spot. A very enjoyable match, and the "restarts" made sense from the GM storyline standpoint. I still prefer the one from two weeks ago because the restarts still admittedly affected the flow of the overall match.

ROFL. Oh man, Laurinaitis and Long really made me laugh with their post-match argument on who won. The jackets came off! It's gotta be the most animated I've seen Johnny yet.

Anyway, see what the independent circuit can bring? Yeah, you get amazing finds like these two. Can we call for Cheerleader Melissa and MsChif now? Perhaps then we can seriously have a Divas division. WWE already got Kharma, so that's a start.

Punk and Chris Brown having a war of words online. Honestly, I don't care about that. I get that whole Brown assault on Rihanna deal from a few years ago. It's in the damn past. Let sleeping dogs lie already.

Monday, February 20, 2012

2/20/12 RAW

Ratings:
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry: *

Kofi Kingston & R-Truth vs. Primo & Epico: *

David Otunga vs. Ezekiel Jackson: 1/4*

Daniel Bryan vs. Santino Marella: N/A

Nikki Bella & Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly & Aksana: N/A

#1 Contender's Battle Royal: **1/4
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Reviews/Thoughts:
In Minneapolis...man, I miss that place already.

What a start to RAW. VINTAGE Eve heel act! Honestly didn't see that one coming. She now wants to use Cena like she did Ryder. Unfortunately, Cena's right there. Oops.

Cena goes to the ring, and Eve now tries to explain herself. ROFL, did Cena just say skank juice?! Hoeski?! Wow, Cena's on a roll. Scandalous bitches?! Who the hell is posing as Cena? Eve looks all inconsolable now. That might have been Cena's coolest promo in ages.

Now we're talking. Sheamus and Henry. Good grief, "hoeski" was trending worldwide on Twitter. Strong win for The Great White.

Even Long was entertaining. Pee Wee Herman's fairy godmama? Watch that trend worldwide now.

Tag match, and they threw Kofi and Truth together for whatever reason. Short match that finally seems to give the tag champs some competition. Mania match for the tag titles, perhaps?

Ron Simmons finally gets his call to the Hall. Can't be happier for him. Still remember him in WCW. That win over Vader to win the World Title in 1992 was awesome. Just listen to the pop he got, with Jim Ross doing the PBP.

Otunga comes out for his match. And Long brings Ezekiel Jackson out. Hey, at least Zeke's getting airtime. Wonder what Zeke did to lose to Otunga. Really?!

Time for Undertaker. Covering his head with the hood of one of his long coats. Powerful promo. Indeed, he and HHH are the last of their era. HHH comes out. Taker actually said "shut up" to someone?! Can't remember the last time he did that. Both are striking nerves with one another. Brilliant stuff. Oh, Taker did NOT go there with HBK being better. HHH says he can beat Taker. Huge "Prove it!" chants to HHH. And the match is on! HHH wants...Hell in a Cell!!! Oh snap! Crowd went apeshit.

UPDATE: Sources say Taker shaved his head bald, but WWE wants to wait until Mania to reveal the new look. Until then, expect Taker to continue wearing the hooded coat if doing promos/videos.

Still impressed with Santino's performance at Elimination Chamber. Short match here, DB wins because he needs the momentum for Mania. Not rating this one.

Divas match again just too short for me to care. Yay twin magic.

Cena promo. Skankapotamous?! Wow. Cena said professional wrestler. This had more shoot qualities to it than anything. Sure, that'd be a worked shoot. Whatever. I loved this. Passion and seriousness. And Cena still stayed PG in my book.

Yeah, Rock's gonna be on RAW next week in Portland. Problem is, I won't even be in the state. Sucks to be me.

Woohoo! CM Punk's wearing his jacket for commentary! Camel Fur!

Best part of Battle Royal? Santino eliminating Barrett and Truth. Holy crap. Show sent Ziggler into the announce table. Barrett and Truth couldn't do much about that one. Oh dang, Barrett's left arm is lifeless. Barrett pounded the ground in pain with his right fist. Ref with the "X" sign and Wade could legit be hurt. Lawler saying possible broken left arm for Wade, which would really suck.

UPDATE: Wade Barrett suffered a partially dislocated elbow on that spot. He could be out as long as 8-12 weeks, which would mean no WM 28 for him. I'd still expect him to at least appear on camera to get his WM payday. EMTs worked on Barrett throughout the match. Barrett still talked with fans at a bar after getting released from the hospital, his arm in a sling. As for Dolph Ziggler, he also wrestled in the dark match main event against Punk, so that's a sign he should be OK. Cody Rhodes, Kofi Kingston, and R-Truth also were shaken up during the battle royal. I think that's the most injuries I've ever seen in one non-weapon match.

ROFL, leave it to CM Punk to make fun of Cole saying "Kofi Rhodes." Kofi hit the barricade hard and he appears shaken up. Santino is in the final four again!

Cody -- with bandaged right leg -- eliminated Santino, and Santino just about landed on Barrett's broken arm (see above). Double ow. Show eliminated Cody and it looks like Cody hurt his right elbow on that fall. Cody assists Jericho to eliminate Show. Jericho faces Punk at Mania, which was obvious from weeks ago.

2/19/12 Elimination Chamber

Ratings:
CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston (Elimination Chamber; WWE Title): ****

Beth Phoenix vs. Tamina Snuka (Divas Title): **1/2

Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show vs. Wade Barrett vs. Santino Marella vs. Great Khali (Elimination Chamber; World Heavyweight Title): ****

Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel (U.S. Title): *1/4

John Cena vs. Kane (Ambulance): ***
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Reviews/Thoughts:
Hmm. When was the last time the WWE title was on the line in the OPENING match on a PPV? Sue me, I got a short memory. Jericho out first, then Miz, Dolph, Truth, Kofi, and Punk. Wow. Punk and Kofi are starting, so Punk will have to go the entire way. Love it. Remember, Jericho comes in last.

Punk's clean-shaven after doing a promo appearance on Friday. Damn. Kofi with a vertical OVER the top rope and landing feet-first on the steel chamber floor. That's serious height. As usual, a lot of painful spots and many counters. I especially liked the tornado DDT from Kofi onto Ziggler...on the steel. Truth was out first, but that's probably no surprise (he wasn't winning anyway). The other five battled. Jericho took two guys out (Ziggler and Kofi), so that's what...10 career Chamber eliminations for Jericho? Kofi did the high-risk spot. Crossbody from the top of the pod -- and Miz helped catch Kofi! Punk kicked Jericho out of the chamber, and Y2J couldn't continue. Miz and Punk left. I don't think they would have wanted Jericho and Punk to be last anyway; they're already meeting at Mania. Strong showing from Miz, either staying alive or trying to get a win. False finish with Miz hitting SCF but Punk kicked out. Nice finish. Fairly long chamber match, which was great.

Beth paying homage to Piper with the plaid belt. Tamina doesn't get much of a pop this time. Very good comeback from Tamina. Thought it was over after the superfly splash. Solid finish. People say Kharma is next for Beth, but if so, I hope Tamina doesn't get lost in the shuffle again.

Santino with the Rocky vignettes. Awesome.

Laurinaitis was shaky on the mic. Alberto Del Rio is back! Glad to see him. Mark Henry and Christian (with facial hair) also make appearances. All back Laurinaitis for permanent RAW GM and GM for Smackdown. It's time for a change in WWE? Don't copy Owen Hart's material!

Daniel Bryan started in one of the pods for the chamber match. Wish he coulda started, but it's smart booking for his heel role if he comes in last. A little surprised that Barrett and Show started. Show displayed some wrestling moves this time, but still too slow a pace for me. Liked how Show stared DB down but got Cody instead. Good high-low move from Barrett and Cody to get Show down. Nice to see Barrett aggressive on Rhodes. Crowd was really going nuts for Santino. Glad they saved Khali for later in the match. He did what, three moves before a Show spear nuked him? I think that's about the shortest Chamber appearance in history. Looked like another car crash after that one.

Show stared down DB. DB taunts Show. Big mistake. Show busts through the top of the pod and gets in! Loved that. One of the best spots of the match. Not often you see someone just break in like that and start kicking someone's ass. DB escaped for like five seconds and Show threw him through the pod. Vintage EC carnage! Not Big Show-proof! Nice work from Wade and Cody to take Show out. I marked when Santino pinned Cody. DB took a lot of the punishment in this one. Nice booking to let Santino pin Wade. Great stuff to have Santino at the end with DB. DB with the "ha, this will be easy" look, while the crowd goes bonkers for Santino. That was an excellent last few minutes. Cobra for the false finish. Santino nearly getting out of the LeBell Lock. Love it. Best booking they probably coulda done.

Sheamus has apparently picked DB to face at Mania. Obvious.

Hornswoggle with cheese. Oh no, Natalya. Yeah, she "cut the cheese." Still hate this whole flatulence gimmick.

Swagger and Gabriel basically was a filler match. Meh.

Ambulance match is main event. Predictably a physical match with weapon use. Crowd split as usual for Cena. It wasn't the most technically sound match, that's for sure. Cena hit Kane with a wheelchair, lovely. Cena wants to be in Booker's Fave Five, and he just may get it. Love the physical Cena. Kane nuked with the steps. Cena through the Spanish table. It was quite entertaining. To the top of the ambulance! AA off the top of the ambulance, probably onto some padded hidden area. Good that Cena won because he needs all the momentum he can get for Mania.
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Ambulance match is not a match that is designed for wrestling. It got its point across. The right person for storyline purposes won. I was entertained with weapon use and the crowd was involved. Sounds like a respectable match to me.

Divas match was better than I thought it would be. So is Kharma next for Beth? I wish Tamina would get another shot...don't want her to suddenly get lost in the shuffle again. I mean, they even changed her name to reflect the Snuka pedigree.

Elimination Chamber matches did their job. I was skeptical about the Smackdown match, but Khali did very little, Show was awesome on DB, and, of course, major props to Santino. Santino and DB put on a good show at the end. The crowd was going nuts on that. Mad respect.

A good PPV. Glad the next one is Mania. Rock should be on WWE TV way more now. ***1/4

Friday, February 17, 2012

2/17/12 Smackdown

Ratings:
Big Show & Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes & Wade Barrett: *1/2

Hunico vs. Ted DiBiase: *

Primo & Epico vs. Jimmy Uso & Jey Uso: **

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan: *1/4

Jinder Mahal vs. Ezekiel Jackson: 1/2*

Tamina Snuka & Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix & Natalya: 3/4*

Elimination Chamber Wild Card Battle Royal: **3/4
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Reviews/Thoughts:
Good opening video to highlight DB's heel tactics and possible threat for Sunday. Cuts to Orton and Long. Long says Orton's suffered a concussion. Not competing on Smackdown, and he's also out of the chamber. Long will have Orton escorted from the building "for his health."

Oh crap. Show and Khali together in a match. God help this one. Can Cody and Wade make this somewhat watchable? Never would think Khali gets beaten down and Show gets the hot tag, but that was the only logical move here. Quick, dominating work here. OW. WMD to Khali! That ruled. I woulda given that infinite points.

It's the suspended Mark Henry! Show comes in all sweaty from his match, but wants DB. Henry makes fun of Show. WMD! Man, I laughed good for that part. Yeah! Give Show what he wants! Welp, Long's lost control again.

Unknown wrestlers posing as security! Better to call the National Guard.

Hunico and DiBiase again? Is Camacho that green in the ring? I'm interested in seeing what that guy can do. Isn't he Meng's son? Camcho-ference leads to a Hunico win. OK...rubber match next week?

Replayed the HBK/HHH segment on RAW. Real good stuff. Taker video after that with him cutting his "hair" (he's already either bald or with short hair). So I guess Taker's (likely) last Mania will be with shorter locks.

Usos in action. I want to see Rosa dance, not Primo or Epico. Thanks. Jey looked good on the hot tag. Cousins still on a major roll. Will be interesting to see who will finally step up and be a threat to the tag champs.

DB promo. RAW footage replayed. Show and Orton out of the building. Yeah, everyone is afraid of Daniel Bryan! Title looks so awesome around his waist. DB and Orton was for tonight, but he wants Lilian to announce DB as the winner by forfeit. And yes, epic celebration!

Oops. Here's Teddy. Replacement for Orton! Sheamus! Cole playing the weasel and trying to back DB now. Sheamus on offense. DB wants to leave, nope! DB cowers in the corner and Sheamus loses it. DQ win for DB. Meh. It achieved its purpose.

Elimination Chamber wild card battle royal tonight!

Zeke and Jinder again? Meh. At least I'm glad Zeke powered out of that Punjabi Clutch, or whatever it's called. Can't just go down like that. Tapout win for Jinder with the second attempt, though. Remember when Zeke was pulling dominant wins? That's long gone now.

Divas time. Tamina Snuka. I like that WWE's finally pushing her as the Superfly's daughter. People aren't stupid. You might as well take advantage of the family name. Awkward moment in match. First, Natalya had Alicia in the Sharpshooter. Second, Tamina obviously knew this and didn't break it up. Third, ref was somehow blinded? Huh?! Yet, blind tag that ref probably didn't even see. Tamina with Superfly splash and it's over because Beth doesn't care to break that up. OH DAMN, nice superkick from Tamina. Crowd popped great for that and the attempt on the splash. Beth got out of harm's way, but that was a solid booking job. Match was meh, post-match was great.

Otunga has a Harvard jersey/shirt on. As if Harvard doesn't need any more screen time....

Ton of superstars in the ring! Woohoo! Too lazy to keep track of all eliminations.Fairly uneventful match. Elimination here and there. Liked when Primo eliminated his own cousin. Very impressive showing from Primo. Zeke, Santino, Gabriel, and McIntyre are final four. Really? Yeah, something's up. For sure.

Too much showboating from Drew and Santino eliminates him. Zeke eliminates himself. Santino and Otunga. Crowd popping HUGE for Santino. Santino's hulking up! Rude Awakening-like neckbreaker from Otunga (I'm sure all the old school fans will get that one). Hell, Otunga's even posing like Rick Rude would -- minus the gyrations. Here we go.

REVERSAL! SANTINO WINS! WOOOO. We replace a viper with a cobra! That was a HUGE pop by today's standards. Nice end to the Battle Royal, and show ends. Seriously thought something fishy would go down, but guess not.

2/16/12 Impact

Ratings:
Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy (No Time Limit, No DQ; World Title): ***

Austin Aries & Zema Ion vs. Alex Shelley & Shannon Moore: *1/2

Knockouts Battle Royal: *

James Storm vs. Bully Ray: **
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Reviews/Thoughts:
Good opening segment, with Roode on mass gloating mode. Crazy Sting gets to the point. Hardy and Roode, no time limit and no DQ. Sounds great! Damn, it's now!

Fast start! Screw the main event intros! Here we go! Hardy with crowd-awakening offense early. Brawling on the outside, guess there's no countouts as well! Very physical match here that had substantial time on the outside. Hardy dominated a bunch of this match. Roode did a steel steps bump that would make Mick Foley proud. Poetry in Motion on Roode on the guardrail! This is a great opening match so far as we head to break. Back from break, they're back in the ring and Hardy's still on offense. Roode uses underhanded methods to seize control. Master of the shortcut. Back to the outside. Moves for RR, but Hardy backdrops RR on the ramp. Hardy and Roode fight near the announce table area. Whoa, it's Angle! Angle attacks Hardy. Spear from RR and it's over.

RR gloating in the back again. Sting's not through with him, since James Storm and Bully Ray will have a #1 contenders match later. Gonna be interesting...

Update on Jesse Sorensen. Fractured the C1 in his neck. Truly frightening stuff. Glad to know he's recovering well. Doctors say he could make a full recovery. Would love to see him back in the ring. Talented kid.

Ion and Aries are tagging tonight. Shelley and Moore on the other side. Chris Sabin should be back later in the year. Brandon Jacobs sighting in the Impact Zone! No shortage of cockiness on the heel side. Decent action, good pace. Heels with the win, although Aries isn't happy Ion "stole" the win here.

Knockouts Battle Royal to determine new #1 contender. Tessmacher with the Texas-inspired outfit. Only a few knockouts get actual TV entrances. Note Madison said any lady in the ring could be the new #1 contender -- and Madison was in the ring. Rayne goes to sit with Gail at ringside. Guess this is over-the-top-rope elimination action. Tara favored that knee at the end of her time in the ring. Down to Angelina,Sarita, and Velvet. Velvet getting encouraging chants. Double-team on Velvet. Madison and Gail enjoying the action. Sarita is sneaky and eliminates Angelina. Oops. Sarita then flies over the top, so Velvet thinks she won.

Nope! As probably everyone guessed, Madison comes in and eliminates Velvet. Gail looks shocked. But yup, it was pretty clear this would happen. I hope this Gail/Madison thing is an actual match and not like the damn fingerpoke of doom thing.

Nice to see Joe and Magnus with the tag titles. Look forward to seeing them defend the belts.

Holy crap, it's a Chelsea sighting! Same girl that was with Desmond Wolfe (yeah, remember him?). Dammit Flair, I'm jealous. HA, Bischoff with a "future endeavors" reference!

Bully worked on Storm's left leg. Announcers say it could eliminate the Last Call superkick. Unfortunately, Storm kicks with his right leg and had enough power to place weight on the left. Loved the boot coming off. Fairly solid match here.

Brandon Jacobs gets involved! Oh yeah! Good beer spray from Bully. Bully is frightened. And yes! Al Snow and D'Lo sighting! D'Lo! D'Lo! D'Lo!

Sting and Roode close the show in the ring. Roode and Storm in a steel cage at Lockdown! Two low blows from Roode. Vintage snapping! Title belt shot! Sting bloodied!

Not a bad episode. The opener had a lot of physicality, and Roode's heel push continues. Probably will hear more about Angle's involvement next week.

2/16/12 Superstars

Ratings:
Aksana vs. Maxine: *

Jack Swagger vs. Mason Ryan: 3/4*

Primo & Epico vs. Santino Marella & Alex Riley: **
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Reviews/Thoughts:
See? Maxine got off of NXT! Mission accomplished, right? Sorta? Aksana with her seductive entrance and music. A few people care! Yay! Does the inverted atomic drop hurt any worse on a woman? Don't really see that used often, anyway. Striker had a Wendi Richter and Leilani Kai reference! Match really got very boring. Aksana got a bit aggressive, which I liked. Pretty long match for a divas match. Aksana has a decent spinebuster finisher. Good potential here, but again, match lagged too much at times for me.

Ryan and Swagger match. Swagger with some screaming and intimidating stuff pre-match. Ryan with an impressive fallaway slam on Swagger -- Jack's not a small guy, fellas. A few botched moves here, and I'm blaming Mason for it. Swagger tackled the knee and Mason taps to the ankle lock. Rarity to see Mason lose in any fashion.

And now Orton's out of the chamber match. Who's gonna replace him? Gonna find out on Smackdown, I guess.

Glad to see Primo, Epico, and Rosa getting pushed like this. You can probably thank HHH for this one because he believes the Hispanic demographic is key. Must be cool to be bilingual.

WTF, a Jeremy Lin reference on Superstars?!?!

Anyway, tag match was fine. Cousins with nice double-team moves. Santino Stunner?! Huh? Cool, I guess. Good finish, A-Ry nuked with the Backstabber. Looks like Santino's gonna be finding another tag partner now.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

2/15/12 NXT

Ratings:
Tyson Kidd vs. Curt Hawkins: **3/4

Titus O'Neil vs. Yoshi Tatsu: *

Percy Watson vs. Michael McGillicutty: *1/2

Justin Gabriel & Derrick Bateman vs. Heath Slater & Johnny Curtis: *3/4
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Reviews/Thoughts:
Regal's in charge tonight! Yes!

Well, that was quick. Hawkins in action now, and Reks is banned from ringside. Nice of Regal to say that Tyson Kidd is some top competition for Hawkins. Really liked Kidd's work here. That kick from the ring apron is awesome. Crowd loved this match as well. Lots of big moves. Why the hell can't we see more of this stuff? Solid finish.

Titus gets no on-camera entrance. Regal's opponent for Titus...Yoshi Tatsu. Yoshi got no pop coming out. Ouch. Fairly simple match here. Hard kicks from Yoshi and indecipherable yelling. Match was about three minutes. Yes, I said three minutes.

Titus wants A-Ry. "Don't talk about it, be about it," says A-Ry. Um, OK. Aw, Titus has a valentine's date one day late.

Johnny Curtis intercepts a gift meant for Bateman. Duh, it's from Maxine. Johnny's one weird dude. Can I take a Goldust personality instead? Then at least bizarre would be entertaining.

Percy Watson facing Michael McGillicutty. Good energy from Percy, but the crowd is dead. Solid match, but come on, did the whole crowd pass out from excess booze? Wake up!

Maxine finds the chocolates. Guess Johnny appeared to put a new note on there to stir up trouble. Maxine's pissed.

Oh look, Kaitlyn's at ringside! Is she on commentary or just sitting there? Hopefully the latter, but nope, she's on the headset. Bateman has TWO opponents? Heath Slater (and his crummy music) and Johnny Curtis. Oh, now it makes sense. Justin Gabriel for a tag partner. Gabriel and Bateman fly in the early going, then it slows down. Bateman with the hot tag. Regal says this is an amazing match, but I beg to differ. Bateman with his finisher to win.

Welp, here comes Maxine. Dammit, you're wasting great chocolate! Johnny's all happy at his handiwork. I call this pathetic stuff.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

2/13/12 RAW

Ratings:
Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston: **1/2

Big Show vs. Randy Orton: *3/4

R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler: 3/4*

Tamina vs. Brie Bella: N/A

CM Punk vs. The Miz: *3/4
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Reviews/Thoughts:
Been busy on my end, and some of the coming days may not be so kind, either. Anyway....

What the hell? A debate starts the show off? Well, at least there are a lot of pops, especially for Punk. Did Punk say snickelfritz or something about Laurinaitis? New word! Woohoo! R-Truth rules. Spider Stew! I think that would be the most epic presidential speech in history. Jericho and neophytes! HA, Punk disses Jericho with the Dancing with the Stars reference! Truth is nuts, but he's awesome. Trouble in Paradise to Jericho. Good start to the show.

Great match between Kofi and Jericho. Back-and-forth stuff, and Codebreaker wins it.

HBK's in the building! Woohoo HBK and HHH backstage.

Zack Ryder is now in a wheelchair and a firm neck brace. Poor Zack, going from U.S. champ to this. I wouldn't necessarily call it a de-pushing, since he's been featured on RAW and all that, but it's just crappy to see him in this storyline with Eve and playing this injured person.

Otunga seemingly going with possible wrongdoings on Smackdown and Teddy Long? Hmm....

Big Show got involved with Orton's match, giving Daniel Bryan a DQ win. Brawl ensued between Show and Orton. And woohoo DB's on the show again! Cole's now saying DB's "wonderful" and a "tremendous champion" when DB's right next to him. What a suckup. Orton and DB in a rematch this Friday on Smackdown. Naturally, Cole picks DB. Ha.

Action spills to the announce table. Nice massive hangman's DDT from Orton, didn't think he could pull that one off. DB looks impressed. But damn, that had to be one of the worst-looking RKOs ever. So basically, they do it again. DB interferes and takes out both guys.

UPDATE 2/14/12: Reading reports that Orton is legit hurt and out of the chamber this Sunday. Mark Henry could take Orton's place.

HBK time! HHH reiterates that he won't face Taker this year. HBK just eggs him on to accept the challenge. Ohhh, Stephanie reference and being a corporate sellout! HBK and HHH back and forth. Listen to their passion. The power in their voice. This was outstanding. Gongs! Video afterward from last years WM. "Give me what is mine...immortality." Wow.

Troy Polamalu sighting! Also, Cena and Kane later tonight.

Ziggler and Truth now. Truth caught Ziggler showing off. Oops.

I'll pass on Santino's garlic love potion #9...or #10.

Beth at ringside as Tamina is in action. Beth and Tamina at the chamber PPV. I'm still thinking Beth wins,but barely. Payoff should be at WM in a rematch. Please, none of this 300-diva battle royales. Brie's in action tonight. No TV entrances for either diva. Quick match ends with the superfly splash. And now Justin Roberts calls her Tamina Snuka.

Boots to Asses! Rock video. He's on all the talk shows, promoting his movie and WM. Good advertising for WWE. Gotta love it.

Cena's with Josh Mathews. Eve's getting in the ambulance because Kane likely forced her there? So...Kane gets in the ambulance, and Eve gets out right before Kane takes off. Vintage sirens! OH DAMN, Eve kisses Cena. AHAHAHA, Zack's right there! RUH ROH! BURN! Eve just wants to be friends with Ryder. Could be a good storyline for Zack after all! Kane has done well.

"Poor Zack" was trending on Twitter. Wow.

Punk and Miz match. Yup, Punk faces the same guy Alberto Del Rio legitimately hates. Not bad here. Good to show Punk winning by submission. More importantly, it shows that Punk and Jericho have more than one way to win a match.

Cena calls out Kane to end the show. "Cena sucks" chants. Eve kissing reference. Wow. "We all hate you!" from the crowd. Cena will still rise above hate. Here comes Ryder on crutches. Cena extends olive branch, and Ryder swipes it away. Slap to Cena! Ryder tries again, Cena blocks it, and Ryder goes down. Cena really didn't do much there. Kane vowsto win the ambulance match. And there's Kane to push Ryder off the stage! Cena even flashed that "X" sign when someone's legit hurt. Eve's there as well. Geez, how many weeks now has Zack left on a stretcher? Is that a record? End show.

Monday, February 13, 2012

2/12/12 Against All Odds

Ratings:
Zema Ion vs. Jesse Sorensen: *1/4

Robbie E vs. Shannon Moore (TV Title): **1/2

Gail Kim vs. Tara (Knockouts Title): **1/4

Samoa Joe & Magnus vs. Matt Morgan & Crimson (Tag Team Titles): **1/4

Austin Aries vs. Alex Shelley (X-Division Title): ****

Kazarian vs. AJ Styles: ***1/2

Garett Bischoff vs. Gunner: *

Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm vs. Bully Ray (World Title): ***
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Reviews/Thoughts:
Interesting opening with Hardy merely smiling when asked about the title match. Taz wasn't at the PPV due to a death in the family. Condolences from me to Taz and his family. Borash is doing color tonight.

#1 contenders match is first. Zema  Ion gets virtually no reaction coming out. Sorensen actually gets a few pops. What the heck is the deal with the football again? A bunch of these gimmicks are rather lame. Oh, Sorensen was a football QB. Thanks, Tenay. Yes, Texas is a big football state. Fast pace at the start. Jesse with the upper hand early so Ion sprays more hair spray into his hair. Bad for the environment and maybe your hair. Lovely. Good high-flying moves. Ion hits a moonsault on the outside. Ion's knee connected with Jesse's head. Sorensen is out. Refthrew up the "X" signal which is never good. Awkward finish, but Jesse was legit injured here. Hope it's not too bad.

Borash isn't comfortable announcing. It's obvious. Send him back to ring announcing, please.

Looks like TNA had to stall as trainers and EMTs tended to Sorensen. Good promo from Roode.

Well, Rob Terry -- or should I say, Robbie T -- has been this personal security guard to Robbie E for how long now? Lovely. Oh WTF. Robbie E Invitational? *facepalm* Shannon Moore accepts the challenge, which is good to me. He's back to singles action now with Jesse Neal gone.

Lots of counters and big moves in the TV Title match. Moonsault by Moore on Robbie E nailed the Jersey Shore wannabe in the head, much like how Sorensen got decked by Ion's moonsault. Robbie continued on, though. Where the heck is the crowd reaction? Robbie T with a big punch, into a Robbie T impaler DDT for three. Decent action. But damn man, the crowd was largely dead!

Knockouts title up now. Tara comes out from the ramp, not on the bike. Madison Rayne accompanies Gail to ringside, but they have communication issues on the way to the ring. Madison leaves ringside, could be big. Gail attacks the knee of Tara, smart move. Reference on Tara tearing the right ACL 10 years ago. Nice hurricanrana from Gail. WTF, this match has more crowd reaction than the first two. Nice moonsault from Tara but she's favoring that knee. Thought it was a flat finish from what had transpired just seconds before, but still solid overall.

Time for the tag match. Crimson gets beaten down for several minutes. Average at best right now. Morgan with the hot tag and looks good. Both teams' tag finishers countered. Crimson spears Morgan accidentally. Snap mare and flying elbow combo on Morgan, and we got new champs. Note again, Crimson doesn't get pinned.

X-Division title match time. Split chants for both guys, although again, it's like...maybe 15 people doing it? Geez. Aries being sneaky going under the ring. Suicide dive through the bottom and middle ropes. Love it. Crowd is probably the most vocal it's been all night. Last Chancery reference! Glad to see the name of the submission hasn't changed. Aries tried the same antics again but got caught. Suicide dive from Shelley this time! OW. Death Valley Driver on the ring apron. Shelley got nuked on that one. Aries 450 misses, Sliced Bread from Shelley! AA with the hands on the ropes! Real good stuff now. Crowd is standing. OW, kick to the jaw. Brainbuster! WHAT?! Only two?!?! Roll-through, two lights-out kicks from Shelley! Another two?! WTF. Where the hell did this come from? Knees from AA, Brainbuster! Last Chancery! Shelley taps. Wow.

Here we go with Kaz and Styles. Hard to follow that excellent X-Division match. Good storyline going so far. Good spots early on. Styles getting monkey flipped was awesome. Clash and Fade to Black finishers both countered. Kaz slingshots over the top and plants AJ's head on the ring apron. Another "ow" moment. More great counters as the match wore on. "Acts of desperation," according to Tenay. AJ able to bridge out of a pin that late in the match is amazing. Good flow. Loved AJ deciding to moonsault onto Daniels. What is with it and moonsaults tonight?! Kaz counters an AJ springboard into the Fade to Black and wins. Great stuff again.

I keep getting all messed up on Garett's first name. So it's one "R," right? I've seen one R, one T, two Rs, two Ts, etc. Ugh.

Anyway, Eric gets involved in the match a bit, which pisses Hogan off. Otherwise, the match was quite basic and boring. Garett gets whipped for a while. Eric with one more cheap shot and Hogan's had it. How the HELL does one punch elicit such a monstrous response? Because it's Hulk Hogan. Garett's neck has been worked on for quite some time. Hogan's got the towel. Garett says no. Gunner looked like he kicked GB dangerously low, plus a DDT for three.

Here we go with the World Title four-way. Sting's the special enforcer. Expect a ref bump somewhere. Storm is out next, then Hardy, then Roode. Christy Hemme does the main event intros tonight. Loved Bully introducing himself. Still tension between Roode and Bully. RR wants to team up with Bully, but no deal from Bully. Storm and Hardy team up on RR.

Tenay tells people Sorensen did sustain a neck injury. As of 2/13/12, Sorensen can move his arms, but cannot move his legs (only a tingly sensation in the lower extremities). Wishing him the best on his recovery. Will this put Ion in the doghouse?

Wow, I loved RR and Storm with a double-team move on Bully. Crowd really wanted them to do the "Beer! Money!" gesture one more time. Ha, fat chance, but great teaser moment. RR and Storm swing away. No real involvement from Sting for now. Storm and Roode fight on the outside, while Bully and Hardy are in the ring. Bully calls for a spike piledriver, but countered. Nice Tower of Doom with Bully on the bottom! Shows Bully's strength. Bully tries RR, then Hardy and Storm, but only two counts. Hardy Twist of Fate. And we finally get the ref bump; Bully does the squashing. Bubba Bomb, but ref's out. Sting tries to revive Brian Hebner. Yeah, way to go. Shouldn't the enforcer just come in immediately? Oh right, Sting doesn't want Bully to win, I guess.

Hardy Twist of Fate on Bully again. Hebner's still out. Roode spears Hardy. Storm with a Codebreaker-like move on RR. Last Call to RR! Ref's up, but Bully pulls the ref out. Bully uses Hebner as a shield. Storm flies over the top and Brian Hebner gets destroyed again. Damn.

Hardy Twist of Fate on RR. Swanton missed. RR on the outside all dazed. He's got the title. RR and Sting jawjack. RR spits in Sting's face. Sting swings with the title and decks Hardy by accident. RR demands Sting count with Hebner down. Now Sting's helpless? Seriously, just screw RR if you have to. Nonetheless, Sting makes the three-count.
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Actually a very good PPV. Gunner and Garett was not my cup o' tea, and Sorensen/Ion shoulda gone longer except for the unfortunate injury. More high points than I expected. Roode retaining was the proper call. Let him run with it as a heel using cheap, unclean ways to win. ***1/2

Friday, February 10, 2012

2/10/12 Smackdown

Ratings:
Great Khali vs. Jinder Mahal: 1/2*

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox: N/A

Sheamus & Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes & Wade Barrett: *3/4

Ted DiBiase vs. Hunico: *

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton: ***
___________________

Reviews/Thoughts:
Sheamus promo about his Royal Rumble win. Nice way to incorporate anti-bullying and how he came to be a star in the WWE. Barrett, Cody, and Show come out to state their case for being the favorite to win the World title.

Ooh, BURN. Big Show's bad WM record put on full display. I mean...it's bad enough to be the reverse Undertaker and lose even in a sumo match, but to say Snooki had a more successful WM, ouch. Show was like..."who?" Ha.

Well, I guess Jinder has more of a reason to be on TV now that Khali's back on TV. For some reason, I miss Ranjin Singh. Khali chops hurt like hell. Short, basic semi-squash.

Aw, Daniel Bryan didn't get invited to the Teddy Long BBQ! Don't worry, I ate any meat that woulda been saved for DB anyway.

HBK appears on RAW in a couple days! Woohoo!

Glamazon's been squashing everyone and making bold claims. Alicia got nuked in about a minute. Whatever happened to Fox's push? Remember when she was actually winning matches for a short time? For Beth, two people remain. First up, Tamina. Nice push for the Warrior Princess. I think it's best for Beth to retain right now, but give this match about 7-8 minutes. Make Tamina go down fighting and have Beth win by a rollup or a cheap heel tactic. Would be win-win for all parties. Make a rematch at WM 28, where Tamina wins the title. Tamina can then have a respectable run with the belt.

Who does Beth go on to face? How about Kharma? She'd be the other person Beth didn't destroy yet. I'm assuming Kharma's just off TV mainly to get back in ring shape and spend a little more time with her newborn baby. Should be a good feud between two powerhouse divas. When was the last time that happened?

Another theory would be to turn Kharma back heel and have her feud with Tamina afterward. Probably a more likely scenario, since heel divas may be running a bit low if WWE wants Natalya to go face with her farting gimmick.

Speaking of Nattie, she gets a backstage segment with Tyson Kidd. They must love working together again. Nattie was talking about talking too much when nervous, and Tyson was referencing the farting. Yup, the fart came out. Whomever thought of this one should be taken to the woodshed. It's appalling. Get Natalya over for her wrestling, not some crapola flatulence. Way to destroy a good Hart pedigree, folks.

But wow. Hornswoggle's reaction to the fart. ROFL. The comic relief is a positive, at least. WWE's got the right people on each roster. Santino, now Hornswoggle.

Time for the tag match. I do not want to experience chops from Big Show. I liked the high-low move from Cody and Wade on Big Show. Need to see more of that double-team move on a larger man. Show kicked out of that Beautiful Disaster kick, wow. Way to cheapen the move. At least have Sheamus come in to break it up. Nice aggression from Sheamus after the hot tag. OW, Show speared Cody big time. Brogue Kick ended it.

Cole is out to interview AJ. AJ tries to cut the face promo, while Cole tries to get his usual heel heat. AJ tries to defend Big Show while still loving DB. Ha, and then she goes after Cole. Nice tactic to get face pops! She defends a heel (Daniel Bryan) and still gets cheered because it's Cole she's attacking. Attitude from AJ! She's not finished! Cole fires back. DB looks like more of a tweener in this one, neither full face nor full heel. Aw, DB went on a hike. Hey now, I didn't drink beer or eat meat during the Super Bowl! I ate my protein products before and after the game!

Oh, they're leaving in a Prius! Hey, that's a kickass car! That's likely my next vehicle when my current one hits the crapper. Since I'm also a poor panda, I'll have to get a used one....

But this screenshot is kickass. Check out the sign in the background. Unleash the Dragon! As in the American Dragon!


Teddy Long says if DB leaves the building, he loses the title. Since when did Teddy Long grow a spine? Remember when DB said how AJ would mean more to him than the title? Decisions!

Good aggression from Ted and Hunico. Hunico attacked Ted's broken wrist. WTF, a rollup pin out of nowhere? Cheap win for Ted. Lame, but at least it makes sense.

The story on Laurinaitis getting retained as RAW interim GM got more pageviews than any story in recent history. So what's the meaning of the word "recent" anyway? A week? #smh

DB video package -- and Cole actually said "Daniel Bryan is the real deal" in that one! Wow, what lengths did the video team have to go through to nab that quotation?

Big Show on commentary for DB/Orton. What can I say...another extremely solid performance. Oh snap, DB tried a Benoit headbutt and missed! Lots of counters. Loved the spot of a slingshot over the top rope, back into an Orton hangman's DDT. Very nice. DB wants to leave with his title, provokes Show, and gets a DQ win. Orton's pissed and the two faces brawl. DB walks away in pain, but smiling. Good ending.

2/9/12 Impact

Ratings:
Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles: *3/4

Alex Shelley vs. Austin Aries vs. Doug Williams: **

Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James: *1/4

James Storm & Sting vs. Bobby Roode & Bully Ray: **
___________________

Reviews/Thoughts:
Star Wars episode of Impact. How's this gonna be pulled off?

Good opening segment here. Haven't really seen a heel call out another heel, then confront him before the second guy hits the ring. Sting with a brief speech of his own. Sting in tag action tonight!

Whoa, Daniels and Styles in a match? I could only hope this gets at least 10 minutes. Hot crowd for this. Nice way to introduce Kaz into all this, having him be the keeper of that foreign object. Quick pace on the match. Kaz reluctantly gives the foreign object back to CD, ref gets "inadvertently hit," and Fallen Angel with the predictable win via cheating.

Funny how Magnus and Joe come out and it seemed like Joe got a bigger pop at the time. Cheers for England! Good face promo from Magnus got major pops. Morgan and Crimson now come out. Woohoo small fight! Joe flips the bird to Morgan and Crimson.

It's now Doug Williams again, apparently. He returns as a face after Gunner took him out a while back. Again, awesome pace. Crowd hot for this match. Even AA played to the crowd here. Chaos Theory from DW, but AA kicked Doug low when the ref didn't see it. Brainbuster countered into Sliced Bread #2 for the Shelley win. Good win for Shelley, but at AAO, I think Aries retains the title for now via some underhanded method.

Gail takes Tara out in another chapter to their storyline. They have a title match at AAO. I'd like Gail to retain here, again by crook. Give GK a lengthy reign and bring back some prestige to the title.

Hogan and Garrett Bischoff out. Hogan really puting over GB. Garrett and Gunner will be going at it. Ends with Hogan and GB standing tall. Garrett got one good shot in on his dad.

Bro hug from Bully and Bobby!

Knockouts action. Let the pigeons loose! Average here, with a bit of positive crowd reaction. Taz with a couple ribs on Earl Hebner. Velvet gets a rollup win and Mickie looks stunned.

Time for the main event tag match. Main event intros from Borash. Again, typical tag match, just a little lengthier than the norm. A bunch of basic moves from the heels, very methodical. Hot tag to Sting. Bully drops the elbow on his own tag partner by accident. Roode headbutts Bully in the nuts. Bully's reaction priceless.


Anyway, RR in the Scorpion Death Lock. RR calls for Bully to help him again, but not this time. Nice way to do it, too. RR taps. Hopefully the four-way match is a good one.

By the way, no Jeff Hardy on this tour. Likely stemming from those drug charges, me thinks?

Oh, so the whole Star Wars deal was mostly about winning prizes during commercial breaks. Fail. At least we got to hear the Star Wars theme.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

2/9/12 Superstars

Ratings:
Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater: ***1/2

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Johnny Curtis: *

Primo & Epico vs. JTG & Michael McGillicutty: 3/4*

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella: *3/4
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Reviews/Thoughts:
Gabriel starts off yet another Superstars. Not that I'm complaining. One of the guys that actually shows promise to be a star. On the other hand, Slater has yet to impress me in a significant manner. Good stuff again from Justin. Several near falls in this one for JG, which actually got the crowd involved. Heath with a AA spinebuster?! WTF? Slater really showed flashes of Kurt Angle here. OK, the guy finally impressed me. How many times did Slater counter Gabriel?! Good show fellas. I really enjoyed this.

Oh fun. So Curtis can get off NXT now? I mean, I know he's an NXT alum, but eh. He hasn't shown me anything, really -- other than fairly bad acting. Then again, WWE hasn't given Johnny much of a shot yet. Average match here. Yoshi's kick to the head has to hurt. Heck, any of his kicks should hurt.

Since when does JTG and MM team up? Gotta love just throwing people together. Numbers game from the cousins and Rosa. It's been a while since JTG had a hot tag. Hot tag didn't last long. Blind tag and backstabber out of nowhere!

Main event with Santino and Swagger. Heck man, I forgot Swagger was U.S. champ. Shouldn't he actually be defending this title at some point? Ha, Swagger has to grab Santino's ass while doing pushups. Santino with a good comeback. OH, it's Mr...Cobra! Aw, good counter from Swagger. Ankle lock finishes it.

I'm still scratching my head why the hell Khali's in the chamber. I mean, he's the LAST guy I'd want in there. Argh.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

2/8/12 NXT

Ratings:
Heath Slater vs. Derrick Bateman: *

Percy Watson vs. Darren Young: *1/2

Trent Barreta vs. Tyson Kidd: **1/2

Maxine vs. Kaitlyn: 1/2*

Curt Hawkins & Tyler Reks vs. Jimmy Uso & Jey Uso: *3/4
__________________

Reviews/Thoughts:
Oh what the HAYELL? Matt Striker actually starts the show off! Ha, Striker doesn't care for Hawkins and Reks -- but where's the confrontation? Weak!

Slater and Bateman start it off. These guys are getting zero reaction, perhaps slight if you really listen. Fairly straightforward match, a couple counters. Slater's finisher is still lame. Match got maybe...four minutes?

Percy's in action, while Titus is on commentary. Titus is staying rather calm. The guy's boring me even as a heel. Fail. Nice athleticism from Percy as usual. Not bad here as Percy gets a fairly solid win.

Curtis is apparently trying to stir up more trouble. Kaitlyn needs to work on her acting.

Now we're talking. Kidd and Barreta. Barreta looked like he wanted to do some sort of corkscrew off the barricade but landed a bit on his head. Nice counters by both guys. Kidd countered the gobstopper knee, Trent countered the sharpshooter into a pin attempt. Hey, a German suplex! More counters! Unfortunately, this crowd is too dead when the two are recuperating. Nice finish. Deserved a lot better rating, but the lack of major crowd reaction really affected things.

This whole segment with Maxine, Kaitlyn, and Derrick was laughable for the wrong reasons. I still find the storyline crappy. No clue why I subject myself to this.

Guess we have five matches tonight, Striker. Maxine comes out to zero reaction. At least Kaitlyn tried to get a reaction from the Tulsa crowd. Were fans actually cheering for Kaitlyn?! Parts were watchable, but there was no real flow here. A weak finish.

Kidd and Barreta as a tag team? Yes, please.

Tag match ends the show. Mostly standard stuff, amped up a bit since it's the main event. Jimmy's pretty good at getting the hot tag. Hawkins uses the cane and the heels get the win. Striker runs down to the ring? Fastest I've ever seen the guy run. Since when does he try to get the ref to reverse decisions? Hawkins decks Striker. Oh, another storyline gets fuel added to the fire! Do I care? No.

Wait, didn't Striker say all three NXT guys were in action tonight? Titus only got a cameo as guest commentator. That's not action to me. Fail.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

2/6/12 RAW

Ratings:
Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan: 1/2*

Sheamus vs. David Otunga: N/A (squash)

Randy Orton & Great Khali vs. Wade Barrett & Cody Rhodes: 3/4*

Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Alicia Fox, & Tamina vs. Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Nikki Bella, & Brie Bella: N/A (WTF?)

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk vs. The Miz vs. R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston: **1/2
__________________

Reviews/Thoughts:
Liked the opening to this RAW with Taker's return. I seriously marked for that one, although a lot of people probably saw it coming. I've read thoughts of people on message boards: was Taker wearing a wig? After all, he was apparently spotted several weeks ago either bald or with considerably shorter hair. Doesn't matter to me. He'll probably have it naturally grown out pretty good by Mania anyway.

HHH with a great promo on Laurinaitis and Taker. Board of Directors making decision the following morning on Johnny. Whatever. Taker's a better topic to talk about. Short video package of Taker. Totally loved all of them. I'm not sure what to make of this buildup just yet. Whatever the case, the seeds are likely planted for Taker and HHH to go at it one more time, and HBK is likely getting involved as the weeks go by.

Update: WWE with "breaking news" on 2/7/12 that John Laurinaitis is still RAW interim GM. Well, that was obviously gonna happen....

DB and Show start the matches? Hey, I'm all for DB featured on both shows. AJ's still wearing her soft neck brace. Cole's blaming AJ for a bunch of this as well. I hate to admit it, but Cole does have a valid point. Oh man, she's all serious or scared now! I want her to go heel as well. She played a decent one in FCW, from what I read. Yes, that be the WWE's equivalent of the minor leagues. Just an average match here at best. Show nearly runs into AJ, so DB takes her and they both leave. Show with a countout win. Promo from DB again a solid heel effort.

Cena's honorary starter of the Daytona 500 on February 26. Cool stuff.

ROFL, Otunga is Tebowing! WTF. Oops. Otunga's competing now. Sheamus! Well, Otunga's getting nuked. It took a while, but only because Otunga scampered a couple times.

Jericho promo. He shows how he was the innovator and everyone else in the chamber (and others in the back) is a Jericho wannabe. Loved the promo. Punk's coming out! New shirt! Looks like a shirt I'd buy. "In Punk We Trust." He holds the title up, says nothing, smirks, and leaves. Pissed Jericho off. Brilliant.

Smackdown's gonna have Orton and DB on Friday. Damn, another great match waiting to happen. Give them 15 minutes and I'll be happy.

Tag match with Khali in it? Guess that's one way to make sure Khali's limits are not as badly exposed. Khali and Orton with hard tags on each other. Or should I say chops? Awkward stuff between Khali and Orton. Orton with a big RKO on Khali after the match. Didn't care for this one. Basic match.

Dammit, another video package with Cena in it. Skipping this as well.

Eight-diva tag match. Beth with the unfriendly tags here. What is it with unfriendly tags tonight? This match barely went a minute or so. Tamina does about two moves. If I ran the show, I'd actually sign some women who can wrestle and give them decent storyline material. None of this Natalya flatulence bullcrap.

Laurinaitis with HHH in the back. HBK next week? Hell yes. Ambulance match at the chamber with Cena and Kane? I'm cool with it, I guess. It's a way to keep Cena out of the title picture. HHH ribs on Laurinaitis? Priceless. Yet he tweets and makes phone calls like Laurinaitis. Fail.

Justin Roberts nearly flubbed the rules of the six pack challenge. Cole and King were on him for that. Ouch.

Main event time. Jericho stayed out of most of it early on (heck he kept getting taken out with minor stuff). Truth took a nasty bump on the outside. Miz failed to catch him so Truth landed hard on his back and also hit his head on the whiplash. Joey Styles said later that Truth was OK after that, but he was out for the rest of the match. Not sure if that was planned for Truth to exit like that, but chances are it didn't affect the outcome very much (if at all). Doubted Truth would have won this anyway.

Update: Miz got huge heat for failing to catch Truth, so it obviously wasn't planned. According to reports, HHH chewed Miz out in front of the others when Miz got backstage.

Punk and Jericho staredown. Miz and Ziggler break that up. Tower of Doom spot! Good stuff between Jericho and Kofi. I don't think Chris flew as high as Kingston back in the day, but Jericho does do some high-flying stuff. Walls on Kofi. Punk came in with the knee, and all I could think of was HHH tearing his quad in 2001. Yeah, I watched that match last night, and it's still awesome as hell.

Kickass spot with Punk countering Ziggler's rocker dropper into a GTS. Jericho saved the match there. Jericho picks the bones and wins. Oh, he even had his foot on the ropes at the end...like it mattered. Jericho was gonna be the obvious winner here. Great spot with Jericho mocking Punk's sit-down style and holding the WWE title. Good feud buildup. Jericho's win means he's last to enter the RAW chamber match.

Why the hell am I hearing a screaming girl? Too close to the damn announcing headsets! Argh!

Oh wait, that's actually Eve screaming when Kane confronted her. Eve did a great job playing scared. For the first time, Kane is afraid...of himself. I loved that ending. Again, good feud build.

Guess what? Cena really played zero part in the proceedings. See? He doesn't have to be cutting big promos or doing his five moves of doom! This could also help the other talent because they now get their moment to shine -- namely guys like Kofi and Truth. Sure, they're still stuck in the upper midcard, shielded by the glass ceiling, but at least they get chamber spots.

Lackluster show. Crapload of video packages and mostly poor matches. Main event was really the only watchable bout.
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I personally get excited for the Elimination Chamber matches. More often than not, they are each around the ***1/2 range or higher.

For the RAW chamber, Ziggler's practically guaranteed to start, likely against Punk. I'd have Kofi in there next, then Miz and Truth. Jericho is last because he won the six-pack challenge.

For Smackdown, as of right now, we aren't sure who's taking Mark Henry's place in the chamber (he's kayfabe suspended, but legitimately taking time off to rest injuries). For right now, I'd have Cody start that one off against Orton. Barrett will enter next, then DB, then save Big Show for last. Whomever is the sixth guy to replace Henry should probably enter in between Barrett and Bryan, but it depends on who the replacement is.

The replacement is all but guaranteed to be a face (I was right, because someone told me it's Khali. Wait, someone actually reads my stuff...?). DB, Barrett, and Cody are heels; Show and Orton are faces. Must have balance.

Edit @ 9:22 p.m: Yes, Khali is Henry's replacement. Forgive my error. Changes the whole predicted order. Khali's all but confirmed to enter last now.

People may want DB in there at the start, and that may still happen. In this case, DB would likely go against Orton to start things off.

Expect the chamber matches to get a good 20-25 minutes.

Friday, February 3, 2012

2/3/12 Smackdown

Ratings:
Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes: **

Primo & Epico vs. Santino Marella & Hacksaw Jim Duggan: *1/4

Tamina & Aksana vs. Beth Phoenix & Natalya: N/A (WTF?)

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett (No Countout, No DQ): ***1/2
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Reviews/Thoughts:
Teddy Long announces the SD Elimination Chamber match: DB, Wade Barrett, Big Show, Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, and Orton. Good choices. I liked Cody's inclusion here. His big push continues!

Henry wants a title match tonight. Long refuses. Henry flips Long's tie, so just for that, Henry's indefinitely suspended? Where the hell was this Long with a backbone all this time? Is it because Johnny Laurinaitis grew a set the last couple weeks?! Just because Henry legit needs time off for his injuries? Please. Sheamus to the rescue. Brogue Kick to Henry and Mark leaves. Wondering who's replacing Henry in the chamber now.

Sheamus still (obviously) undecided on who he's facing. He'll tell after Elimination Chamber. Oh, the suspense! But tonight, it's Sheamus and Cody. Cody gloats on being one of the workhorses in the Rumble (about 45 minutes) and taking out six guys. Impressive stuff. Vintage Warrior reference!

Sheamus and Cody in a match. Cody's got the best moonsault in WWE, in my book. Booker made no sense on his Rumble appearance explanation. First he says he was cold. Then he said he was prepared. Um, if you're prepared, you're likely not going in cold...you've been training and psyched up, warmed up, and ready to go. Moron.

Oh dang! Sheamus uses Finlay's old finisher -- which was also named the Celtic Cross when Finlay used it. I like it. Expanding moveset!

Cody's still at ringside as Justin Gabriel comes out. Hunico and Camacho on the bike. Triple-team on Gabriel. WTF, Khali again?! The guy only has like three moves! Hunico gets nuked. Ugh, not sure why Khali's even a wrestler. I don't care...make Khali a comedy guy again for all I care. Just don't make him wrestle anymore. The guy's got horrible knees anyway.

Who's Teddy Long to say that he hates predictable TV? He's predictable every damn week! He's on McIntyre's case again. Predictable!

Santino with...Hacksaw! SANTIHOOOOOOO!!!! Tag title match tonight. Oh boy.

Vintage Aksana appearance! I guess she's good at something. "It's a massive piece of wood!" Spit-take! Hacksaw's back! "HOOOOO!" ROFL. That was good.

Mike Tyson's going in the WWE Hall of Fame. I'm cool with it. They induct celebrities all the time now. If we got guys like Drew Carey in the HOF, Tyson should definitely be in.

Hacksaw's music is vintage awesome. Good way to give Primo and Epico more fodder to beat. Rosa didn't really do much, but it worked. Average stuff.

Cole's interviewing DB. Oh boy, not again. Cole's extending the olive branch. DB shoos Cole away. More gloating from DB! DB's a role model! Be a vegan! No clogged arteries! Good job dissing the fans. I can just imagine someone now coming up to DB and slapping him with a piece of steak.

DB's not wanting to defend his title in the chamber. This from the same guy who said he'd be a fighting champ. Vintage hypocrite! Whoa, he's going to the BOD!

Oops, here comes Show. Nice work from Show on the mic. "Pompus arrogant little ass!" DB provokes Show. Beatdown time! Oh wait, AJ comes out in a soft neck brace. WMD to DB? AJ somehow with her "mighty" strength, prevents it. DB scampers away. He and AJ hug. Everyone now..."AWWWWWW!!!"

Natalya's flatulence is staying. I'm pissed off at that. I like the heel, serious Natalya. Don't turn her into a carnival sideshow. We already got people like Santino for that. Yup, Santino sold the fart very well.

Divas tag. Beth shows her selfish, dominant ways. Match was less than a minute. Dissension in the ranks between Beth and Natalya? Nattie gets nuked by Tamina. Sucks to be Nattie right now.

Time for Orton and Barrett to kill each other. Good physical stuff. Orton has a table! Barrett put Orton through it. Wait, that didn't end it? Dang. Barrett got a lot of good offense in. Woohoo, into the crowd! Orton into the steps. Uh oh, remember Orton's history of shoulder problems. Orton nuked with chair shots. Wasteland on chair countered. Vintage Orton comeback! Chair shots to Barrett now. He hears voices! Crowd likes it. Orton wedges the chair in the corner Barrett into the propped chair! Announce table time! Back in ring...Winds of Change slam, but Orton foot on ropes. Great match here. Barrett's back is all welted. Pumphandle...countered into an RKO! Exclamation point! RKO on the chair! Tremendous.

Quick backstage segment with DB, AJ, and Long. DB vs. Orton next week! Yes! Loving that. Huh?! DB to the ring and Orton is like...WTF? Me too.

2/2/12 Impact

Ratings:
Magnus & Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan & Crimson (Buckingham Brawl): **

Austin Aries vs. Mark Haskins: **1/4

Bobby Roode vs. James Storm: **3/4

Tara vs. Gail Kim: *3/4

James Storm vs. Bully Ray: **1/4
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Reviews/Thoughts:
Uh oh...Impact invades the UK! Impact invasion! About time. I don't want to see the same damn Impact Zone each week.

Bully Ray has the biggest calves in the world. Who cares? The crowd wants Devon. Roode wants Storm, so Storm came out. Finally, Sting injects some sort of life into this segment. Four-way for the title at AAO. Storm, Hardy, Roode, and Bully. Tonight, Storm gets both Roode and Bully.

Garrett Bischoff on the phone, probably with the mystery trainer.

Magnus and Joe to the ring. Nice ovation for Magnus. Morgan and Crimson on the other side. Great, they wouldn't make Magnus lose in his home country, right? Buckingham Brawl...one-man advantage for the winner of the coin toss. Of course, Magnus and Joe win the toss because it's the UK (and it would give a good reason for Morgan and Crimson to explain any loss).

Never saw one of these before, but Buckingham Brawl means the team winning the coin toss doesn't have to tag in and out, so it can be a handicap match all the way. Losing team still must tag. Got it? Good. Joe nearly landed on Crimson's head when Crimson instinctively sat up while Joe did his running senton splash. I liked this match because there's a ton more action. Lukewarm tag to Morgan, as opposed to a hot tag, I guess. Whoa, Joe with a swift kick to Morgan to break the pin up. Nice double-team finisher from Joe and Magnus. Solid win. Note that Morgan got pinned so Crimson can still say he's technically undefeated. Crowd can go home happy later.

Bischoff segment. Guess we'll find out the trainer for Garrett now. I think I know who it is, BTW, and if I'm right, the crowd will go bonkers. Garrett comes out. Garrett goes on his phone mid-segment? That's a new one. Looks awkward, though. Garrett's trainer is here tonight, so it's likely the main event segment.

Aries goes against a hometown guy, Mark Haskins. Complete with video package on Haskins. Must be so cool for these UK guys to wrestle in front of their home crowd. I'm happy for A-double...he's gotten a nice push in the X-Division, and he's done extremely well with the title. Aries plays the ideal cocky heel. Even though Aries is supposed to be the heel, he's actually getting CHEERED against Haskins! Huh?! So much for hometown advantage.

Nice agility from Haskins...RKO! Oh, I mean Diamond Cutter. I mean Ace Crusher! Shooting Star from Haskins...OH SHIT HE LANDED ON HIS FACE! That looks bad, coulda damaged his neck. Aries punts Haskins. Brainbuster and Last Chancery. Haskins is out. Hope Haskins is OK.

Storm and Roode now. Wait, there's gonna be a STAR WARS edition of Impact? WTF? Anyway, good match here with counters and big moves. Roode gets frustrated. RR shoves Brian Hebner and Hebner shoves back. Hey, Brian learned well from his dad! Bully interferes as Storm goes for the superkick. Cheap win for RR. Bully with a Rock Bottom (a.k.a. Bookend) on Storm -- on the title. Ouch. And Storm has to face Bully later tonight.

Non-title bout between Gail and Tara. Finally, two ladies who can really put on a good wrestling match. Why can't we have this more often? Solid match and win despite attempted Madison-terference.

Oh, so the Bischoff segment is not the main event segment. Crowd's going bonkers because they likely know who the trainer is as well. Eric in for buzzkill purposes. And here comes the trainer!

WOOHOO HULK HOGAN! Vintage markout moment! Hogan takes care of Gunner, so round one to Garrett, I guess.

Storm out for his second match, now against Bully. Lower back taped up. RR comes out to be in Bully's corner, but Sting comes out to even the sides. And Sting's got a black cricket bat! Yes! Ref KO spot, but Sting keeps RR at bay. Last Call superkick for three!

Thought it was a pretty good episode. Lively crowd helped.

Yup, next week is a STAR WARS Edition of Impact. Again in the UK!

2/2/12 Superstars

Ratings:
Jinder Mahal vs. Yoshi Tatsu: *1/4

Kelly Kelly & Alicia Fox vs. Brie Bella & Nikki Bella: ?

R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger: **1/2
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Reviews/Thoughts:
Yoshi is still wearing that creepy mask to the ring despite his video-game-like music. Fairly straightforward match.

Divas tag match next. Scott Stanford's favorite color would be any color the Bellas wear. How lovely. What is it with these booty shakes? Now the Bellas do it for a double-team move?! I loved it when Rikishi did the stinkface, but now it's just plain overkill because multiple people do it. Ending was weird because the other Bella came in late and Alicia wasn't really needed to intercept (but did so anyway).

Two guys normally on RAW get the main event slot on Superstars. I like Truth's charisma, but it can get excessive when he's doing the showboating mid-match. Not bad here, Little Jimmy finishes it. A good main event match.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

2/1/12 NXT

Ratings:
Tyson Kidd vs. Trent Barreta: *1/4

Alicia Fox vs. Maxine: N/A (WTF?)

Titus O'Neil & Darren Young vs. Percy Watson & Alex Riley: *1/4
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Reviews/Thoughts:
The opening was interesting when Darren Young came out during Titus' promo. Darren's rockin' the mini 'fro here. I didn't like the exchange between the two. It came off as awkward and contradictory. Titus flubbed lines (which is why he's on NXT, I guess), and he initially said he doesn't care about or respect Young, but shook his hand anyway? Percy came out to no pop. I liked the the matching lower-back tattoos dealie. A-Ry got the largest pops by default. Ebony and Ivory! Striker's always late to the party to book the tag match. This whole segment was still a horrid mess.

The mat wrestling between Kidd and Barreta was great. Something Daniel Bryan would do. Suicide dive from Kidd really injured the necks on both guys. Good finish. It was just too short for me, with an awkward dead spot after the suicide dive.

Slater loops a video of him getting his first win in forever, plus the celebration after that win. Bateman...huh? Vintage Skinner reference! Oh, Bateman's got his own video. Loved the Hornswoggle addition in there. I agree with Regal. This segment also blew.

Divas match with Alicia and Maxine...what match? This was Curtis-ference all the way, and Stevie Wonder coulda saw that one coming.

Kaitlyn somehow has managed to get into this whole love triangle situation. Do we have a love quadrilateral now? Oh good grief. I thought this was all over. Yeah, guess I shoulda known better.

Main event was the typical tag match. Faces on offense early, heels take over and slow the action down. The end was a bit suspect here. Titus did a good job with the blind tag, but because of how A-Ry was positioned, he had to delay getting in the ring. If Titus just got in the ring just as A-Ry whipped Young into the ropes (A-Ry would just turn around into the Clash of the Titus), that would have been better.