Tuesday, December 25, 2012

12/24/12 RAW (Christmas Eve)

Kane vs. Cody Rhodes: *1/4

Santa's Helper 8-Diva Tag Match: *1/4

Sheamus vs. Big Show (Lumberjack): **1/4

Zack Ryder vs. David Otunga: 3/4*

Kofi Kingston & Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro & Wade Barrett: **1/4

Great Khali vs. Brad Maddox: DUD

Daniel Bryan vs. Damien Sandow: *3/4

12-man tag match: **1/4

John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio (Street Fight): **1/4

Cena again is the face of the WWE, so he wishes everyone a great holiday season as the rest of the talent roster lines up on the entrance ramp. The show was taped last week in Pittsburgh.

Santa is giving out presents Alberto's music hits and Ricardo comes out. Stupid Santa doesn't get out of the way -- and actually walks right into ADR's moving car. ADR acts all concerned. Loved the "You hit Santa!" chants. Stretcher spot for Santa. WTF, isolating in the area with police tape. Santa's fault, dammit!

Booker comes out of the trainer's room and says Santa's down. You don't say? Technically, it's not ADR's fault! Santa had last words? Miracle on 34th Street Fight tonight against Cena. Lovely.

Kane and Cody in a match. Cody works on Kane's left arm. Love how the non-dominant limb is almost always worked on. Cody removed one of the turnbuckle pads and that came back to haunt him. Kane finishes Cody off with the chokeslam.

8-diva tag next, and it got way more time than I thought it would. Predictably, they're all in Christmas-themed outfits. Faces entered with Layla's music and the heels came out to Eve's music. Alicia is on the face side this time. Gotta hand it to the Pittsburgh crowd for actually caring about the match. Kaitlyn gets the hot tag and is able to get to Eve. Aksana's spinebuster was probably the best move she's ever pulled off in WWE. Nice finishing segment to get everyone involved. Kaitlyn pins Eve with the gutbuster.

Sheamus and Big Show in a "Lumber-Jack Frost Match" later.

Ziggler and AJ cuddled up for the holidays watching the TLC PPV. I envy Ziggler.

They supposedly have the EKG monitor hooked up to Santa. Good grief.

Lumber-Jack Frost match next between Big Show and Sheamus. Non-title. Show slides out of the ring on the Brogue Kick attempt, but it's by 3MB so no one touches Show. During the break, Sheamus got tossed out on the same side and 3MB attacked, duh. Vintage lumberjack brawl on the outside. Impressive Electric Chair Drop from Sheamus. Show chokeslam only gets two. Show back to slow resthold offense. Show misses the Vader Bomb. White Noise to Show. Brogue Kick avoided, Sheamus chucked to the outside. Brawl again. Sheamus tossed back in. KO punch misses, Brogue Kick hits for three. More brawling after the match.

Miz TV segment with the muppets last week was...awesome.

Otunga in the ring to list allegations Santa could be guilty of. Ryder comes out for a match. Basic stuff here, and Ryder wins with the Rough Ryder. Next!

Brad Maddox in Booker's office. Brad assumes he'll be offered a WWE contract. Brad gets a second chance for a contract. All Brad has to do is beat one of Santa's elves.

But now, a tag match. Miz/Kofi vs. Cesaro/Barrett. Cole says Kofi hasn't been able to get to the next level in WWE but is now the IC champ. Well, I hope Kofi finally main events soon, because he sure as hell has the talent. Miz gets the hot tag here. Kofi out of nowhere with the Trouble in Paradise while Barrett's hung on the second rope. SCF from Miz gets three.

Back to Ziggler and AJ. MITB briefcase has a stick-on bow on it. How can Ziggler repay AJ? AJ really knows how to wear that Ziggler shirt.

Another Santa update. Not much to report. Yeah, we know.

Brad Maddox is singing "Brad Maddox is coming to RAW" (in the style of "Santa Claus is coming to town") very badly. Who's Santa's elf? Hornswoggle comes out -- and then he introduces Khali. World's biggest elf there. Maddox knocked around for a while, but he attacks Khali's leg like everyone does. Punjabi Plunge gets three. I wonder how many brain cells I lost this year watching Khali matches. Luckily, he wasn't on all year long.

Punk and Heyman come out for a promo. Punk still on crutches for this episode. Ryback does get his title match on the first RAW of 2013. Crowd loves the Steelers in Pittsburgh. Punk doesn't even root for "losers" like the Cubs and trashes the fans for rooting for "losers" like the Steelers. And Punk wins the Internet again. Christmas and Hannukah are ruined because Punk can't wrestle (yet). Punk says he's still better than Ryback on one leg. Enter Ryback. Heyman with the "we'll sue you for assault" threat. The title match will be a TLC match. Might as well keep stacking the show. TLC! TLC! TLC!

Daniel "NO!" Bryan comes out and he faces Sandow. Not bad here. Flying Goat (headbutt) misses. Terminus countered into NO lock and Sandow taps.

12-man tag match next because we gotta get everyone involved. It's basically the lumberjacks from the earlier lumberjack match anyway. Kidd loves to mock his opponents these days. Tensai booked to look like a joke again from Santino's Cobra strike. Slater just NUKED by a superkick. Gabriel moonsault and Kidd elbow, then another Uso splash gets three.

Aw, Kane hates Christmas but still got DB a gift. A SLAMMY! YES! DB has a gift for Kane. Aw, it's a puppy. HA, Kane's starving. NO! Animals are our friends! Good stuff, but nothing tops Kane's Anger Management story.

AJ is wearing glasses. I love that. Keep the glasses!

Santa update: All of a sudden, "Jingle Bells" plays instead of the EKG. He's alive! Of course he is.

Street Fight time. ADR still saying the Santa thing was an accident. Mic shot from Cena to ADR. Ricardo has a gift for ADR, though. PUMPKIN PIE! Cena ducks and Ricardo (plus the first couple rows) get splattered. They battle to the entrance stage. Cena opens another gift. New TV monitor! Monitor shot to ADR. Ricardo helps ADR get control again. Another gift for Ricardo to open. ROFL IT'S A TEDDY BEAR! Classic. Cena with a wreath and box to the head for Ricardo. USE A TREE! So Cena does. Now that's Christmas.

Cena with a bowling ball. Strike to ADR's nuts. Win. Fire extinguisher to ADR. Ricardo with a sleeper on Cena. Santa comes out! Ricardo nuked with the big red sack. Santa Socko?! Mandible Claw to ADR?!?! Cena hits the AA to win. Well that was fun. End show with Santa and Cena in the ring.

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