Friday, March 9, 2012

3/9/12 Smackdown

Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger (U.S. Title): *3/4

Drew McIntyre vs. Hornswoggle: N/A (squash)

Mark Henry vs. Ezekiel Jackson: 1/4*

Teddy Long vs. John Laurinaitis: N/A

Kofi Kingston & R-Truth vs. Primo & Epico: *3/4

Sheamus, Randy Orton, & Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan, The Miz, & Cody Rhodes: **1/4

U.S. Title cage match to start things off. Come on, we all saw this coming with Santino having to put the title on the line, right? Lilian announces Swagger as the former champ. Not often you hear that..."former" champion.

Cobra apparently struck both Ziggler and Swagger. Ziggler ejected. Cobra sleeve was taken away as well. Santino kicked out of the Swagger Bomb, so I guess it's no longer as devastating a finisher, huh? Swagger tried to go over the top of the cage when he coulda walked through the door. Same with Santino. Really? Santino finally tried the door. Ankle lock! Vickie wanted the door. Santino countered, and Vickie unknowingly slammed the door in Jack's face. Santino retains. Pretty good. Long comes out to celebrate with Santino.

So we finally have a match booked between Long and Laurinaitis. If Teddy wins, then Aksana must face Kane. Unusual stipulation.

Replayed the opening segment with HHH and HBK from RAW. So who decided to make Shawn the special ref again?

McIntyre comes to the ring in his gear. Johnny's giving him one more shot. Khali?!?! Really? Of course not. Otunga names his real opponent: Hornswoggle. Yeah, sounds more like it. It's an obliteration. Khali nukes McIntyre after the match. Good grief, Khali's hand is as big as Hornswoggle's head.

Zeke against Henry. Geez, two power guys again. Mark's got the blue gear tonight, but I miss the red Kool-Aid color. Short match, Mark mows Jackson down.

Here we go with the two GMs going at it. Bell rings and Johnny's on the mic. Why would Teddy put Aksana in harm's way, Johnny? Look in the mirror, moron. Long refuses. Here comes Kane. Whoa, Orton out of nowhere! RKO! Oops. So much for that, Johnny. Wow, Teddy rolled up Johnny for three? I was so expecting Long to just kick Johnny in the nuts.

Kofi and Truth are a tag team, lovely. Fairly basic, and the crowd finally perked up with the hot tag to Truth. Good win for the faces. Guess they'll be getting a title shot soon.

Video package for Rock and Cena. Yup, you'll be seeing a lot of time devoted to this one and to the Taker/HHH/HBK scenario.

Cole interviews Sheamus and Daniel Bryan. Big win for DB saying he has charisma and sex appeal. DB's showing more and more control over AJ each week. Now it's the "telling her to shut up" deal.

That Show slap to the chest must really suck to experience. Cody plays scared on Big Show. Sheamus is slowly incorporating more of Finlay's old moves into his arsenal. Ha, DB now screams "YES!" with each kick. Show takes care of Cody, while Sheamus takes DB out. Faces get the win tonight, and poor Miz is pinned from an Orton RKO.

Kane attacks Orton post-match. Into the universe!

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