Friday, March 23, 2012

3/22/12 Impact

Austin Aries vs. Zema Ion vs. Kid Kash vs. Anthony Nese (X-Division Title): **3/4

Eric Young & ODB vs. Sarita & Rosita (Knockouts Tag Team Titles): 3/4*

Garett Bischoff vs. Kurt Angle: N/A (was this really a match?!)

Samoa Joe & Magnus vs. Hernandez & Anarquia (Tag Team Titles): **

James Storm vs. Christopher Daniels & Kazarian: *1/4

TNA is going full steam ahead with Roode's heel reign. Threatening Dixie at Victory Road was just another step in that direction. The crowd was really all over RR.

Dixie starts the show with no entrance music. "Fire Bobby!" chants from the crowd. Dixie's bringing in the attorneys! Before she can fully disclose what she wants to do with RR (teasing firing him), Sting comes out. He doesn't want RR fired since it would be "too easy." The GM position is not working. A commercial break?! Mid-promo?!

Sting basically says he wants to wrestle full-time again; he's stepping down as GM. A short sabbatical for Sting to get better and face RR. Which means Sting's likely burnt out and needs a little break. Or Sting's got some other plans. Sting's replacement...Hulk Hogan! Crowd finally cares and goes bonkers.

X-Division Title 4-way match. Kash and Nese got only brief mentions. Ion comes down next, then Aries. Guess Kash and Nese aren't winning. Ion and Aries pair off, so Kash and Nese start in the ring. Was AA skipping in the ring against Nese?! Nice DDT-flatliner combo from AA on Ion and Nese. Love the high-flying stuff this match had. Ion with a nice moonsault, but Nese had that backflip plancha that was pretty damn cool as well. Love that Tower of Doom spot. Unfortunately, Bully Ray came in and spoiled the party. He even took out Aries. Yikes.

Josh from Repo Games? Never heard of this guy or the show. Oh, the season premiere is next Wednesday. Look out, Josh may be repo-ing Mexican-America's car. Oops.

Knockouts tag titles first. Aw, the wedding for EY and ODB is April 12. Honestly, EY grappling with the ref has gotten old hat. ODB again gets most of the in-ring time, although could it really be any other way if EY can't physically strike women? Spike's policy, not TNA's. EY's strips down to purple underpants. Senoritas are playing sexy games with EY. ODB's pissed. Where's the engagement ring, EY? Big kiss and a pin? WTF. Awkward.

Crimson's finally (probably) getting his singles heel push. Next week, he faces Morgan. Matt doesn't wait and attacks already, with security conveniently there to pull MM off.

Hardy wants Angle in a cage at Lockdown. That should be good, but don't expect Angle to do any risky spots if he's still training for the Olympics. Leave the nutso stuff to Hardy.

I wonder how long this Joseph Park guy will be on Impact....

RR and Storm video package, even showing RR from Team Canada and Storm/Harris (America's Most Wanted). A great video to show how these two guys have grown over the years -- and also shows their loyalty to the company.

Storm calls RR out, but some other guy comes down to RR's music. William Kelly? William Kelley? He's got one of those British accents, so who knows what the spelling of the last name is. Oh, so RR now has legal counsel? Pbbft. Don't try to be similar to Laurinaitis and Otunga (although I don't know if this legal guy is a wrestler).

What a professional letter. Basically, RR's at home 'til Lockdown (unsafe working conditions?!) and Storm faces either Kaz or Daniels tonight. Storm picks both, duh. Nice superkick. Very nice.

Angle challenge Garett to a 3-minute match. Thank you for being a shorter "match." Garett with energetic offense this time. Last 80 or so seconds turns into a stalling match. Who didn't predict that one? Gunner-ference with about 30 seconds left ends in a DQ or no-contest. Hardy makes the save.

Teaser vignette for the return of Motor City Machine Guns. I've missed these guys. Chris Sabin should be 100% soon.

Tag title match now. Mexican-America must win the titles or I guess their car is repoed. BTW, where the hell have these guys been? Maybe with Ring Ka King (TNA's other promotion)? Sorry, I don't watch that program, so I wouldn't know.

Forgot how strong Hernandez is. Bizarre spot where Hernandez had Magnus down, but goaded Joe in the ring. Ref subdues Joe, but that prevents Hernandez from actually getting a pin on Magnus. To make it more confusing, Magnus had his hand on the ropes and the ref didn't see that for a good two seconds. Huh?!

Joe gets the hot tag. Choke to Anarquia, but Sarita and Rosita interfere on that. Josh Lewis comes down to take both ladies away. Solid finish, love that double-team finisher Joe and Magnus have. Simple and effective to put a guy down for three seconds.

Hernandez and Anarquia got no cash. Josh Lewis -- who took Sarita and Rosita against their will minutes earlier -- now go with Josh. "No money, no honey." Well now, that made so much sense! Completely brutal segment.

I like Storm's entrance theme ("Longnecks and Rednecks"). And now there's a music video for it next week.

Fast start to the handicap match. Awkward ways of "teaming up" from Kaz and Daniels, more of a one-upping scenario or an ego trip dealie. Daniels hits the ringpost, Kaz eats a superkick. One more Last Call for Daniels. Pin.

Sting comes out. Oh, now Dixie gets entrance music! Dixie's on board for Hulk being GM. Hogan comes out to a huge pop. And that's pretty much that as the show ends. Perhaps we'll hear more about this next week. Good teaser.

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