Friday, March 9, 2012

3/8/12 Impact

Eric Young & ODB vs. Gail Kim & Madison Rayne (Knockouts Tag Team Titles): *1/4

Zema Ion vs. Austin Aries (X-Division Title): *3/4

Bobby Roode vs. Bully Ray: **1/4

Matt Morgan & Crimson vs. Robbie E & Robbie T: *1/2

Jeff Hardy & Garett Bischoff vs. Kurt Angle & Gunner: **1/2

Garett shows up, as expected. Flair, Eric, and Gunner go to the ring for a promo. Tag match tonight, and Angle will be Gunner's tag partner. Nice. If you've watched Impact lately, you should have an idea who Garett's partner will be.

Hulk's still out of the country? Not sure when this episode was taped. In  the meantime, HH has some sex tape scandal dealie on his hands. Oops.

Knockouts Tag Titles on the line. More tension teased between Madison and Gail due to the finish. I must admit, EY and ODB have become quite the entertaining pair. Clever how EY has been used all this time without actually physically striking a woman (airplane spins and putting people on the top rope don't count). By the way, the finish was not bad and makes sense -- sorta.

EY drops to a knee and holds a ring. Oh God. ODB's response was awesome. She's clearly the man in this relationship.

EY and ODB winning the titles help keep them on TV -- and may somehow make the titles more relevant than they previously were. Still, this had to be a Russo-influenced decision. Argh.

You know, if you want a drinking game, go watch an ODB match (any match) and take a shot whenever ODB holds her boobs or does some other act involving her crotch.

Joseph Park? Who?!

Zema Ion finally gets his one-on-one title shot against Aries. Ring reeks of arrogance. I'm amused with Aries' celebrations. Then Ion does his celebrating. Good use of high-risk moves here, many of them missing. DQ finish was lame. Dang smoking gun.

Oh, so it's slowly becoming clear. "Joseph Park" is Abyss' brother and wants to know where he is. He visits Velvet. No help there.

Bully Ray is Calfzilla. Good grief. Joker Sting comes out. Bully apparently wants Bobby Roode. Sting grants it next! Roode's gonna be busy the next few weeks.

The crowd is alive for this one. Title's not on the line,but Taz mentions it's good for Bully's confidence and argument to get a title shot. Fairly standard match, and Bully plays the face here with the comeback. Roode tries to use Bully's chain but fails. Bully grabs the chain. Storm comes through the crowd tochase Bully away and then nails RR with the Last Call. Abrupt finish....

Joseph talks to Morgan and Crimson, no help again. Anyway, the two Robbies now wear matching pink sweaters. Real men wear pink, after all. Crimson pretty much booked to look strong again; Robbie E needed to use a clipboard to help get control for his team. Crimson still touted as undefeated even though the team still lost the tag belts the other week. Morgan got the hot tag. Carbon footprint, but then Crimson tags himself in to get the pin. Good job for storyline purposes. Stir the tension!

AJ, Kaz, and Daniels again. More promos. Kaz finally speaks a bit more. Kaz says the problem could be with AJ. Asshole! Mr. Anderson?! And he's aligned with AJ? WTF.

Time to find out Garett's partner. Duh, it's Jeff Hardy. Hardy's done a great job so far on his latest comeback. Main event intros. Heels control Hardy for a while...over half the match. Angle takes advantage of Garett's inexperience and hot temper, a nice touch to this one. Nice hot tag to Garett. Cutter-like move to Angle, which is really the same thing Bateman does in WWE. Nice blind tag by Hardy. Swanton to Angle wins it.

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