Tuesday, March 27, 2012

3/26/12 RAW

Daniel Bryan & Kane vs. Sheamus & Randy Orton: **

Santino Marella vs. David Otunga: 1/4*

Eve Torres vs. Kelly Kelly: 3/4*

CM Punk vs. Christian: N/A (nukage)

Brodus Clay vs. Curt Hawkins: N/A (squash)

Big Show vs. Primo: 1/2*

Mark Henry vs. Great Khali: N/A (mercifully short)

Before RAW, USA aired a one-hour special highlighting Rock/Cena ("Once in a Lifetime"). WWE's hyped this feud to astronomical heights. This special was really just a lot of promotional video packages. Showing a lot of TV appearances, making wishes come true, praising from WWE superstars. Best part was seeing the old home movies with young Rock and young Cena. Next best part...Fruity Pebbles! Great stuff.

Booker joins the commentary team tonight. Funny how Cole is friendly toward Booker at the start. I'm used to hearing these two at the opposite ends of the spectrum.

Tag match starts things off. Orton works with DB, while Sheamus works with Kane throughout much of the match. DB wants nothing to do with Sheamus unless it's a cheap shot. Orton with hot tag #1, before DB gets the upper hand. Sheamus gets hot tag #2. RKO on outside countered. AJ voluntarily got in the way this time? Interesting. Distraction enough for a Kane chokeslam. DB gets the pin.

Cole is the official commentator for Team Johnny? And he's got a red Team Johnny shirt. I didn't realize there are such titles. Vickie is a flag bearer? Now I've seen it all for six-on-six matches.

Otunga's entrance is reminding me more of Chris Masters each week. Booker's on the mic for Team Teddy? Um, sure. I can't believe Cole's trending worldwide on Twitter. Yeah, nice pole, Otunga. Go ahead and wave the RAW flag. Taking the Teddy flag, you accidentally hit yourself, and get a cobra. Fail.

Miz saves Johnny from the cobra. Miz is on Team Johnny. Good call.

What the hell was up with Beth's hairdo? Looked weird to me. Eve faces Kelly tonight. Hoeski chants. Average stuff here. Why didn't Beth at least attempt to get at KK when Kelly slid out of the ring right near Beth after the victory? Oh well.

Christian and Punk face off. Oops. Jericho mentions his mom. Oh, she's clean. Punk's a bastard! I wouldn't want to be Christian right now. Sure enough, Christian is decimated in what was not even a match. Christian's unable to compete at Mania.

Vintage disco ball for Brodus! Hawkins gets squashed tonight. In all fairness, people are getting a few more shots on Brodus these days. Did Lawler call Hawkins "Curtis"?! Naomi and Cameron act like Brodus won American Idol or something.

Big Show squashes Primo. More important part is post-match segment. Cody Rhodes with "Big Show" as a verb. "I gotta take a Big Show" was great.

Lord Tensai vignette. Another guy (who's probably like a sensei) is also featured. No question based on the size of the head that Lord Tensai is the former A-Train/Albert.

Why the hell does Johnny's face on that T-shirt remind me of DDP?

ROFL. Good one Zack. Tell one identical twin to change her face in front of the other twin. Eve's still toying with gullible Zack.

Good Punk promo. Mission accomplished for Sunday.

And of all combinations to put together on RAW, they just *had* to do Khali vs. Mark Henry. WHY?! Wow, Khali threw elbows! Has he done that before? Thankfully it was short, so I'm not rating it.

Post-match, Johnny gets Long in the ring. Rest of Team Johnny comes down. I guess Miz replaces Christian on the team. Team Long gets taken out one by one...and Booker saves the day?!?!

It's Booker and the Oddities! Love that reference. Vince fed you that line, huh Cole?

Rock and Cena close the show again. WWE programming starts with a one-hour special on these two, so it's only right RAW ends with these guys. Rock with entertaining stuff as usual, a Betty White roasting thrown in. Cena interrupts mid-Rock promo.

If you missed the past year of hype, this segment summed it up for everyone. I'd say Cena won this promo war. And at WM, look for Cena to win after a long battle of false finishes. I'm confident it'll be a MOTY candidate.

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