Tuesday, February 19, 2013

2/18/13 RAW (Rock Celebration)

John Cena starts this week's RAW in Lafayette, LA. More WM sign pointing and he mentions the big title matches. CM Punk interrupts as usual and in a pissed-off mood. Punk admits Rock beat him at Elimination Chamber but still wants in the WWE Title match. Punk thinks Cena's taking the easy way out by facing Rock because Cena's never beaten Punk. It all leads to Punk and Cena facing off next week, winner faces Rock at WM 29. Could easily see this being another controversial finish. If anyone's winning, it's Cena.

Smart move to have that match next week. I'm thinking they'll really give that one a lot of time. Plus, the Dallas crowd is awesome. Very lively.

Chris Jericho now takes Cena's place on this all-star tandem to face the Shield. Nice nWo reference, Chris.

Mark Henry vs. Sin Cara: No Rey Mysterio again. Another squash win for Mark Henry in about 90 seconds. Wouldn't want to be facing the big man right now. N/A

Great Khali walks to the ring on his two horrible knees. Henry feigns like he's gonna fight, but then rolls out of the ring at the last minute. Still can't understand why Khali even wrestles anymore.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Miz (No DQ): Rematch here after the DQ finish at the PPV last night. Non-title match. Cesaro continues to target Miz's taped-up left shoulder. Doesn't take long for chairs and kendo sticks to appear in the match. Cesaro with unique ways of using those weapons to inflict more punishment to the shoulder. Miz moves and Cesaro's knee hits the chair. Drop toe hold on the chair. Figure-four by Miz and Cesaro taps quickly. Match didn't take very long. *1/4

Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger with another "We the people" promo. Yay, they have a YouTube account!

More Kane and Daniel Bryan arguing like sibling children. DB faces Swagger tonight. Kane doesn't like snakes. HI RANDY ORTON! So this means Kane faces Orton tonight, I suppose. Oh, and DB and Kane tell each other to stay away from the ring during their respective singles matches. Will that happen? Of course not.

Vickie Guerrero on the phone. Paul Heyman comes in. Vickie has a surprise for Heyman to share in the ring later. Heyman doesn't like surprises and Vickie loves it.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler: ADR with the big enzuigiri early to Ziggler. Langston gets a cheap shot in to help Ziggler regain control. Swagger and Colter are watching in the back. Nice reverse superplex from ADR. ADR with the clothesline, shoulderblock, and backbreaker. Loud superkick to Ziggler for two. Ziggler counters the cross armbreaker with a neckbreaker for two. Kidney punches and backstabber to Ziggler. Langston on the apron and ADR with a dropkick to his knees. Ziggler gets trapped in the cross armbreaker and has to tap. Crowd was dead for ADR's entrance but at least perked up for the match. **1/4

Langston gets in the ring and nukes ADR. Ziggler looks on. CASH IN THE BRIEFCASE! Ricardo grabs the briefcase and runs for his life. He drops the briefcase as Langston gives chase. Dude, Big E is fast for a big man. AJ Lee retrieves the briefcase but ADR nukes Ziggler to stop everything. Good tease for the MITB stuff. Was funny just to watch Ricardo run.

Wade Barrett is now a movie star! He filmed scenes for "Dead Man Down," in theaters March 8. Some movie trailers are shown. Sheamus on the Titantron and he correctly points out Barrett isn't really the star of the film anyway. Oh, they're out of time for the segment! Gotta keep moving and plug those action figures!

Brodus Clay, Tensai, & Naomi vs. Primo, Epico, & Rosa Mendes: Six-person mixed tag. Brodus and Tensai are going on a safari and I guess they're hunting Puerto Ricans. Naomi was the obvious choice to represent Funkadactyls. Don't see a diva perform a springboard clothesline every day! YES! Blind tag to Brodus. Primo gets nuked with the double splash and it's over in 90 seconds. More Naomi, I say! Brodus and Tensai dance Gangnam Style in the ring. N/A

Another Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger promo in the ring. We, the People! I love the "Don't Tread on Me" slogan. Swagger says Colter will give a State of the Union-like speech. ADR and Ricardo watch in the back. I'm loving this heel pro-American style. First Amendment, baby! Colter says Swagger's gonna win the World Title and reclaim America. Of course, since ADR is Mexican. Makes perfect sense. Colter is gold on the mic. Daniel Bryan comes out and we got a match.

Jack Swagger vs. Daniel Bryan: Match joined in progress. Gotta love DB's ability to work with everyone on the roster. Swagger shows the power game against the smaller DB. DB's ribs are taped up, so again bullseye for Swagger to attack.DB with the comeback. Suicide dive from DB even with the bad ribs. Logic! DB with the NO lock on but Swagger's tall and can get to the ropes. DB misses the dropkick in the corner and favors the ankle. You know what that means. Swagger with vile shots on the ankle. He locks the Patriot lock in and it's over. No Kane in this match. **

Vickie Guerrero and Paul Heyman in the ring next. Vickie's hired a new assistant. Gee, I wonder who it could be. Brad Maddox! And exactly NO ONE in the arena cares! Heyman doesn't care, either. HI VINCE! Vince doesn't have a heart, and if he does, it's cold and black. Much like my coffee this morning. Oh right, Heyman said he would do anything if he got the stipulation he was granted. Well, time to pay the piper. Vince could fire Heyman right now but won't do that. Instead, Vince and Heyman will fight next week. And the crowd doesn't care. Fail.

Shield vs. Chris Jericho, Sheamus, & Ryback: Well, here we go again with the six-man tags. Lawler called Ambrose "Seth Rollins." Time to get glasses, King. Rollins pulls Roman Reigns out of the way of the Brogue Kick, so Ambrose eats it instead. Sheamus with the hot tag to Ryback and the crowd finally can go crazy. Ryback gets Rollins up for Shellshocked but again, Reigns spears Ryback to thwart that. Love how Shield is being booked, even getting good offense on Ryback. Jericho gets the tag and the fans sorta respond. Reigns takes Ryback out on the outside. Sheamus and Reigns duel. Rollins is still free and delivers a dropkick to Jericho. Ambrose covers Jericho for three. Great booking. **3/4

Kofi Kingston vs. Damien Sandow: Kofi's already in the ring, but Sandow at least gets to do his monologue. Hey, Sandow's family was full of personal advisers to former U.S. presidents. Lovely. No match here, just Sandow beating up Kofi. R-TRUTH IS BACK! He had been out with that deep gash on his knee. Truth unloads on Sandow. So is Kofi back to tag action? Maybe Rhodes Scholars will just reunite full-time. It's best for all parties involved right now. You're welcome. N/A

Josh Mathews interviews DJ Cotrona and Adrianne Palicki. Both star with Rock in the upcoming film "G.I. Joe: Retaliation." The movie will come out on March 29, a little over a week before WM 29.

Randy Orton vs. Kane: Fairly competitive match, but again, the crowd mostly dead. Last few minutes of the match were good. Kane sets up for the chokeslam. DB comes down, as expected, to distract Kane. DB didn't say anything. RKO to Kane and it's over. *3/4

Rock's Championship Celebration starts with the Louisiana-Lafayette marching band. Hey, the crowd came alive again -- sorta. They all line up down the aisle and Rock enters to a nice ovation. Only the drummers are playing as Rock's music blares over the sound system.

In the ring, there's a pedestal with a velvet red cloth covering something. Rock with his usual promo, now counting down the days to WM 29. Note that the WWE Title he holds is the SPINNER WWE Title belt that Cena used to wear; that same title in the past few years has NOT had the spinning logo. But that spinner belt at least gets to go to the Hall of Fame. One that doesn't have a physical place -- yet.

Rock basically unveils the NEW WWE Title belt under the cloth. A large WWE logo, front and center, with "CHAMPION" underneath. The platelets on the side are Brahma Bulls. To me, it doesn't look bad at all. Rock says this belt is worthy of the great champions the WWE has had in the past. Again, a nice Bruno Sammartino reference.

Who's Rock facing at WM 29? Before Rock can say who he's facing, Cena comes out. Punk nails Cena from behind with that spinner WWE Title. Punk points at the sign. Staredown between Rock and Punk. Punk then walks away.

Good setup for next week. Punk and Cena should be given some good time, I'm hoping.

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