Tuesday, February 12, 2013

2/11/13 RAW

In Nashville for this week's RAW. Cole and Lawler on commentary.

Paul Heyman begins RAW in the ring. He had sent a Tout earlier in the day to make an "announcement of a lifetime." He says in the ring that it'll be the last time you'll ever see Paul Heyman. Crowd cheers like mad for that, but many of us know he's a huge liar. He brings up ECW again, which really was awesome. Heyman recalls how he aligned with Lesnar for Brock's debut. Heyman says Punk should still be WWE champ today. Heyman predicts something bad will happen tonight. Heyman should seriously become a preacher the way he speaks. Heyman says all these bad things are pretty much why he's resigning (not re-signing, folks). Crowd again cheers.

CM Punk comes out and basically tells Heyman not to leave. Punk admires Heyman and says the people look up to Heyman. Hey, I'm a Paul Heyman guy! Heyman says he's just in the way and wants Punk to let him go. Heyman just wants to be remembered as Punk's friend. Punk refuses. Punk vows to beat Rock at Elimination Chamber this Sunday. They hug it out in the ring. Great opening segment.

Mark Henry vs. Great Khali: And from that great opening segment, we get THIS debacle. Basically a squash win for Mark Henry in less than two minutes. Mark Henry faces Randy Orton on Smackdown. N/A

Jericho wants in the Elimination Chamber match. Booker T says Y2J must face Daniel Bryan tonight. YES!

Heyman goes to Vickie Guerrero and wants a stipulation added to the WWE Title match. Vickie refuses. Vince McMahon on the phone, so Vickie puts it on loudspeaker. Vince with the "SHUT UP!" to Heyman. Heyman says if Rock is counted out or DQ'd, Punk should win the title. Vince wants it in writing. Heyman agrees. Vince OKs the stipulation and hangs up.

Chris Jericho vs. Daniel Bryan: YES! Still remember their match from the first show of NXT Season 1. Wrestling clinic here. Y2J goes for the early pins. Cole brings up the first EC match but doesn't mention Eric Bischoff's name. Match had a ton of counters, very competitive. Crowd really amped up for it. DB finally hits his headbutt for two. Walls of Jericho applied! DB counters. NO lock can't get locked in. DB counters Walls again countered. Kick to Jericho's head for two. DB goes for the KO kick again but Y2J ducks. Rollup for two. Codebreaker out of nowhere and Jericho's going to the chamber match. Jericho's on fire again with more excellent matches! ***1/4

Rey Mysterio has been ruled out of the EC match due to injury. So we're back to needing to fill two more spots. Jericho, DB, Henry, and Randy Orton are in as of now.

John Cena, Sheamus, & Ryback vs. 3MB: OK, did anyone really think 3MB had a shot here? Obviously a warmup match for Cena and company. Ryback nukes Slater, Sheamus nukes McIntyre, then Cena nukes Jinder. Nice triple finisher at the end. 3MB at least could practice their gyrations on air guitar. Match over in three minutes of pain. N/A

Post-match promos. Ryback can't wait to feast on the Shield on Sunday. Sheamus wants Shield tonight. Cena says justice meets the law when the six guys square off. Nice one. When Cena isn't cutting the stupid funny promos, he actually does a heck of a job.

Alex Riley and Yoshi Tatsu make fun of Big Show behind Show's back earlier in the day. Show KOs both of them. Oops.

Show to the ring. Nice suit. Matt Striker in the ring to interview Show. Show KOs Striker. Sound about right. Show can't get the words out of his mouth, acting too pissed to talk. Show just throws the mic down and leaves. Point made.

Bruno Sammartino HOF video shown again. Even Bruno admitted in an interview that he was stunned to know people were cheering after that HOF video aired. Bruno's legacy spans multiple generations. Finally, the WWE Hall of Fame adds a true legend.

Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder: Another win for Swagger. He says real Americans take what they want. And Swagger's got a new manager. It's the guy formerly known as Dutch Mantel! Mantel is now known as Zeb Coulter. I don't care for the name at all, but you probably coulda guessed that. Ryder gets some offense in early, but Swagger is too much. Patriot Act (ankle lock) ends it in less than three minutes. 1/2*

Swagger says Zeb Coulter is a friend of his. Looked online, it says Zeb resides in Tennessee. Zeb is also legitimately a Vietnam War veteran. It's basically the "real Patriots, real Americans" gimmick (usually a babyface thing) with the heel twist. They want to protect and defend America, kicking unwanted people out in the process. Zeb has solid mic skills. A great pairing.

Booker announces Swagger has been unstoppable and puts him in the Elimination Chamber. Duh, we all saw that coming a million miles away -- at least when he finally returned to TV.

Ziggler wants back in the qualifying for the EC match. He's pissed that Jericho's now in the chamber match because Ziggler "ended" Jericho's last stint in WWE. Booker says Ziggler faces Kane tonight, winner gets in the chamber.

Footage again of Lesnar's destruction on Vince and Miz.

On WWE Main Event this week, the Highlight Reel returns! Chris Jericho's guest will be Miz.

Cody Rhodes vs. Miz: Antonio Cesaro on commentary. He praises Miz's talent, but doesn't like him as a person. Typical match here. Action spills to the outside. Cesaro looks like he's gonna attack Miz, so Miz kicks Cesaro down. Cesaro shoves Miz into the post and the ref calls for the bell. *

Brodus Clay & Tensai vs. Primo & Epico: Well, if this is what it takes for a person to keep a nice-paying job, I'd consider doing what Tensai's needed to do the last several weeks. Tensai is pretty much all business when walking to the ring. A little fun in the ring doesn't hurt. Primo and Epico are basically getting booked like crap these days anyway. Time to dance after the match. Tensai dancing Gangnam Style? Ugh. N/A

Oh, yay for seeing Naomi and Cameron do something wrestling-related!

Shield to the ring, again entering through the crowd. Shield wants some action. There's been a John Cena problem in WWE for the past decade, and the Shield claims to be the solution. Strong promo from Shield. They again keep calling out Cena, Sheamus, and Ryback. LIGHTS OUT! There they are, and it's time to brawl. All six guys fight back through the crowd. Shield retreats again. Solid segment. Should mean Shield wins on Sunday. Shield would really be hurting with a PPV loss.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Damien Sandow: Sandow blasts the fans for listening to music that's not Beethoven or Mozart. Those damn ignoramuses! Ricardo's back for the Del Rio grand intro. ADR wins in a minute with the cross armbreaker. SQUASH! N/A

ADR post-match promo. He says Show can take his tour bus anywhere he wants after the Elimination Chamber PPV. ADR's going to WM 29. Vintage sign pointing!

Bo Dallas jumps Wade Barrett in the back, much like Wade did on Smackdown a couple weeks ago.

Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston: Not bad here. Another match that goes back and forth. Barrett misses the Bullhammer the first time, but suckers Kofi into the ring dressing and nails him with a Bullhammer shot there. Wade gets the win at the three-minute mark. *3/4

Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler: I'm sorry, I wanted to watch AJ Lee during this one. Loved her outfit. Kane basically dominates most of the match. Big E Langston again helps Ziggler get the upper hand. Great stuff in the second half, several near falls and counters. Kane to the top, AJ gets on the apron. Ziggler bounces into the ropes, knocking AJ off the apron. Langston catches her. Ziggler wants to make sure AJ's OK, and Kane delivers a chokeslam for three. Kane's finally in the chamber match. **1/2

Rock to the ring to close the show. Thunderous cheers here. Yes, we want to know WHY. It's story time with the Rock. Rock moved to Nashville when he was 15. No action from the girls in high school because they thought Rock was an undercover cop. Oops, not all good to be 6'4" and 220 lbs in high school then. Rock got a busted-up 1979 Thunderbird from a crackhead in a bar when he was 15. Woohoo! Rock thought the car was stolen so he ditched it at 2 a.m. I never had such a lively life at 15. Rock got his life together at 25 and says he will still be champ after the PPV.

Punk interrupts. Rock with the Twilight love scene reference. Homeless vampire boy hugging a hairy werewolf! Time to settle it in the ring now. Punk walks to the ring. Fight's on! Rock with the spinebuster, but Heyman trips Rock up on the People's Elbow. Punk with the GTS to Rock and stands tall with the title.

Rock should be retaining the title this Sunday. Undertaker's status for WM 29 is still unclear. If Taker can't go, it might end up being a triple threat at WM 29 for the WWE Title (Rock/Cena/Punk). Taker was spotted in Nashville, but didn't appear on the show.

Show had a couple of nice matches, but mostly squashes to advance storylines. Elimination Chamber PPV is this Sunday.

No comments: