Friday, June 8, 2012

6/7/12 Impact

Crimson vs. Austin Aries: *1/4

Miss Tessmacher vs. Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James vs. Tara: *1/4

Devon vs. Robbie E (TV Title): 3/4*

Sting, Kurt Angle, & AJ Styles vs. Bobby Roode, Christopher Daniels, & Kazarian: *3/4

Show starts with a recap of the AJ/Dixie stuff. Video after Impact went off the air last week. Dixie was pissed and went to the director of the show. Nice realism to all this. Now Dixie's in the ring this week. Dixie wants to just tell the truth. Enter Daniels and Kaz on cue. Verbal harassment, and then a bit pf physicality. AJ storms the ring. Daniels and Kaz bolt.

There's Serg, Dixie's husband. He throws one of the WORST "all-out knockout" punches I've ever seen a supposedly enraged husband deliver. To make it worse, AJ flops, then gets back up for a virtual no-sell. Dixie was fine in her role. Fans sound like they chant "photoshop!" which was amusing. AJ and Dixie leave the arena, but wait, he's supposed to be in a six-man tag later tonight...

Crimson now undefeated for 16 months. Aries is his opponent tonight. Love how A-double has gone from heel to face without really changing anything about his character. Nice pace again, typical of an Aries match. Joe and Aries had an altercation before the match, and Joe basically distracts Aries here. Aries' head hits the apron. Crimson covers for three to keep his streak alive. I'd say Joe's as much of a tweener as a wrestler can get.

Crimson promo post-match. He's been undefeated for 468 days, "one longer than that Goldberg guy." Crimson open challenge at Slammiversary. Would be a nice time to debut a new guy. I wonder if John Morrison is available....

Brooke Hogan with the four top face Knockouts. Four-way match to determine #1 contender for Gail's title. Velvet gets to shoot a music video, and Mickie looks rather miffed. Don't think I should really look much into that one, but who knows.

Hulk Hogan plugs Slammiversary and that next week's Impact will be live. World Title to be defended on that Impact no matter what. Roode, of course, doesn't like it. Roode verbally laces into Hulk. Sting comes out. Sting beats Roode down and the champ bolts.

Four-way Knockouts match next. I especially like Tessmacher's ring gear to represent Texas. Even before the match begins, she'd be my pick to face Gail in Dallas. Gail makes an appearance on the stage to do commentary and watch the proceedings. Nice triple submission spot with all four ladies. Tessmacher indeed gets the win -- over Mickie. Semi-botch on the finisher, though. Good way to elevate Tessmacher. I actually hope it results in a title change.

Bully Ray and Joseph Park contract signing. Bully has a new contract for Park to sign. No standard wrestling match. Hold harmless clause for Bully Ray. Clearly Park has several contract defenses if he really was a lawyer. Park goaded into signing. ABYSS ON THE SCREEN. Taped speech, of course. Abyss coming to Slammiversary. It might as well read Abyss faces Bully Ray. Bully with a cheap shot to Park to end the segment.

There was a Joey Ryan segment after the Gut Check portion of the show aired last week. Joey basically rants, Al Snow puts him in his place.

TV Title match again. Garett Bischoff out to support Devon. Crowd really behind the champ. The end was just lame. Small package with a couple reversals from Robbie T and Garett. Devon retains. Bleh.

Hulk's back out, but here's Mr. Anderson. Hulk brings RVD down, then Jeff Hardy. Three-way at Slammiversary, winner faces the champ for the World Title on the live Impact. Hulk's voice is all hoarse.

Six-man main event. AJ's not there, so it's really a handicap match. Daniels and Kaz attack Sting and Angle. No surprise that Roode doesn't want to be involved. Double submission early! Sting beaten down by the heels. Roode with the crossface. Styles hops the guardrail and here we go with the face comeback. Sting with the Scorpion Death Lock on Roode for the submission win. Crowd liked that ending, that's for sure. Not bad overall.

Pretty average Impact show, but a couple of good storylines for Slammiversary. That'll be on Sunday in Dallas.

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