CM Punk & Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan & Kane: **3/4
Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger: **
Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella: 1/2*
Primo & Epico vs. Titus O'Neil & Darren Young: 1/2*
John Cena vs.
_________________
Reviews/Thoughts:
Cyndi Lauper's gonna make an appearance. I dunno what to think about that.
But MICK FOLEY starts the show! Looks like Foley hasn't lost the cheap pop talent. Mick's also hosting RAW and Smackdown this week, as they rotate interim GMs. Huge tag match tonight with DB and Kane vs. Punk and Sheamus. It's next!
But wait, we have a Laurinatis farewell address now! Big Johnny is even more busted up now. Long Island sucks! Crowd boos. Laurinaitis books handicap match: Cena vs. Big Show, Otunga, and himself. Can he still do that? Guess so. Have a nice day!
Sheamus and Punk come out, then Kane and DB. Wondering if AJ comes out after what we saw at No Way Out. We see AJ and Kane from last Monday, and I'm still jealous of Kane. DB gets huge "YES" chants from the LI crowd. Sheamus continues that mat wrestling against DB. Cole mentions Punk's rather lengthy WWE title reign. Of course, Cena's had two reigns that lasted longer, as well as JBL. Sheamus with a hot tag, but Kane and DB take over again. Punk gets a hot tag and works on DB. DB superplex from the top. AJ comes out...IN KANE ATTIRE. A Kane costume never looked so good. Everyone's bewildered. Punk tags Sheamus. GTS into a Brogue Kick. DB pinned for three. Nice opener.
Who wants Vickie's admiration, respect, and affection? Ziggler or Swagger? I don't! This should hopefully be a good match.
Amateur wrestling stuff to start, no surprise. Ziggler tweaks his left knee a few minutes in, and Jack attacks that. Swagger panders to the crowd. Ankle lock from Swagger. Crowd continues to get behind Ziggler; he's really won the crowd over with his great matches. Ziggler really sold the ankle lock well. Zigzag out of nowhere gets three. Ziggler gets a kiss from Vickie. Good job, Dolph. Join the others in line who've experienced that one.
I feel bad for Swagger because he seriously needed the win more. Ziggler's fine on his own, and he can officially turn face at any time.
Lawler's favorite moment was the Vince McMahon and Austin bedpan incident. Also introduced Mr. Socko to the world.
Lesnar's music hits, but again, it's Heyman. No dropped lawsuits and no Lesnar/HHH at SummerSlam. That's it? Nope. HHH comes out. HHH shows the SummerSlam promo poster with Lesnar, front and center. All Lesnar has to do is step up and fight HHH. Money talks. No dice from Heyman. Lots of trash talking, and Heyman goes there with mentioning Stephanie. HHH eventually decks Heyman. Loved the segment. Great buildup.
Alberto appears to be cleared to compete again; he faces Santino here. Not much work here, Santino jobs to Alberto. Ricardo gets a shot in after the match.
Layla introduces Cyndi Lauper. Lauper comes out with Wendi Richter. Richter's put on a bit of weight. Crowd doesn't like this segment. Heath Slater time? He's gonna sing? Oh no.
IT'S RODDY PIPER WOOHOO. He gives Lauper a gold record, because a long time ago, he hit Captain Lou over the head with one. A touching moment. Slater sings bad again. Piper with fingers to the eye. Lauper decks Slater with the gold record. Cool...
Primo and Epico want revenge because AW screwed them at No Way Out. AW with the intro for the Primetime Players. Backstabber to Darren, but Titus pulls him out of the ring. They bolt so the cousins get a countout win. Lame.
Jericho hyped to return next week. Woohoo!
Laurinaitis with his farewell address. To him, everyone is a loser. You'll see him next when he's inducted into the WWE HOF. So that means we're not seeing him again?
Show comes out and thanks Laurinaitis for that contract. Then Show ditches Johnny and Otunga. Oops.
Teddy Long at ringside. Cena comes out and goes to town on Otunga. Laurinaitis doesn't want in because he's injured. Otunga basically takes the beating, then gets the upper hand. Mixed chants from the NY crowd. Laurinaitis tags in and shows he's not really hurt...what a surprise. Otunga doesn't like it and ditches Laurinaitis. Nice knowing Big Johnny. Cena finishes Laurinaitis off with three AAs and an STF. Long loves it. Crowd goes home happy.
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