Saturday, May 5, 2012

5/3/12 Impact

Velvet Sky & Brooke Tessmacher vs. Gail Kim & Madison Rayne: *1/2

Devon vs. Rob Terry (TV Title): *

Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy: *1/2

AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, & Magnus vs. Kurt Angle, Christopher Daniels, & Kazarian: **1/4

Bobby Roode vs. Mr. Anderson (No DQ): **

Replay from last week where Eric Bischoff gets sent off in the port-a-potty. Flair starts the show and voices his complaint. Not bleeping Bischoff's name this week. Don't piss off the guy with two HOF rings! He calls out Hogan, and Hulk comes out. Hogan wants Impact to succeed, and (thankfully) hung up the boots. He's Flair's boss. Hogan wants Flair to be a judge for Gut Check. Flair accepts. YES. Finally, a good move.

RVD and Roode pick each other's opponent tonight.

Impact moves to 8 p.m. on May 31.

Knockouts tag starts it off. Taz gets to let the pigeons loose. Brooke got the hot tag here. Velvet came in and took out Madison. Gail caught Brooke's foot. Eat Defeat from Brooke?!?!?! Holy crap, that was unexpected. Another win for Tessmacher! Three straight wins over the champion. Love it. That's how you push a new Knockout to a future title match.

Road to 10th annual Slammiversary. Jarrett and Raven for the world title in late April 2003 (then the NWA title). Sabu with an appearance then.

Typical RVD promo, then Roode comes out for his usual promo. Roode's facing Mr. Anderson tonight. RVD faces Jeff Hardy. Yay for potentially good matches.

The two Robbies have matching sweaters. Ugh. Rob Terry faces Devon for the TV title this week. Nice diving headbutt from Devon got two. Robbie E got introduced the hard way. Robbie E shatters the clipboard over Devon's head for the DQ. Merely furthering the feud here.

Three judges for Gut Check are Al Snow, Flair, and Bruce Pritchard. They are now gonna consider Alex Silva, who wrestled last week. I just loved the behind-the-scenes deliberation. Fans on Twitter wanted Alex to get the contract (63%). Flair seems hell-bent on rejecting Silva. Only takes two "yes" votes to get the contract.

Hogan makes the Roode/Anderson match a No DQ match. Nice.

But first, Hardy and RVD. Nice match with the usual high-flying stuff. Big moves and counters. Here comes Roode with his title. Ref dives out of the way as he see Hardy coming off an Irish whip reversal. Roode cracks Hardy in the back with the title, probably expecting RVD. RVD with a superkick for three.

Joseph Park getting more in Bully's face. Bully bullies back. Finally seeing the end of this whole charade.

Borash vents about Eric Bischoff. Here comes Bully Ray. He wants a few words in the ring. Bully is excellent in his role. And here comes Aries! A war of words. Aries beats down Bully. Security restrains Aries, and Bully with the nut punt. This was outstanding.

Six-man tag match time. Joe and Magnus take Daniels and Kaz outside to fight, so Angle and AJ start in the ring. Angle pushes Daniels around for trying to get involved. Styles eventually also got the hot tag. Magnus and Joe work so well together now. Holy crap, there's the Joe suicide dive! Angle gets Styles in the ankle lock. Kaz tags himself in, and Angle's pissed. Fade to Black countered, Styles with Styles Clash for three.

Angle's still pissed after the match and ultimately leaves. Meanwhile, Daniels gives AJ seven days to spill this secret.

Gut Check moment for Alex Silva. Flair says no. Snow says yes. Silva then gets 30 seconds to sell himself. Flair with a great line to not talk to the "marks." Talk to the judges. What came next was 30 seconds of wrestling passion out of Silva's mouth. Made Flair change his vote to yes. Pritchard otherwise woulda voted no, but also now says yes. Silva is on the roster. This could seriously be a great segment for Impact.

Roode and Anderson, no DQ. Very physical from the start. Roode wedged the chair in between the middle and top ropes, but Anderson threw Roode in there instead. Nice kick into an enzuguiri for two by Anderson. Hardy gets involved on Roode. Anderson takes out Hardy?! WTF, probably didn't know. Chairshots by Roode, Fisherman's Suplex for three. Roode with more chair shots post-match. RVD with the save. Roode bolts...then comes back in and attacks. RVD DDT'd on the chair. End show.

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