Tuesday, May 1, 2012

4/30/12 RAW

Miz vs. Santino Marella: *1/2

Layla vs. Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella (Divas Title): N/A

Chris Jericho vs. Big Show: *1/2

Brodus Clay vs. JTG: 1/4*

Kofi Kingston & R-Truth vs. Primo & Epico (Tag Team Titles): *3/4

Great Khali vs. Kane: -*

Daniel Bryan vs. Jerry Lawler: *1/2

Sure enough, new RAW opening. "RAW Supershow Starring Brock Lesnar." We're in Dayton, Ohio, for this one.

Laurinaitis comes out, praises Brock, and introduces him. WTF, HHH?!?! HHH and Brock shake hands. Brock's anointed new face of WWE by Laurinaitis. HHH says no more Lesnar demands, and no free private jet...bummer. HHH says no one is bigger than RAW. HHH won't approve Brock's demands Laurinaitis seemed to approve last week. HHH with an ultimatum to Lesnar on staying. Johnny tries to get involved but HHH says shut up. Again Johnny involved, so HHH turns his back. Lesnar attacks! Kimura on HHH! A few of the faces come down to chase Lesnar away. HHH says his left arm is broken. Brock walks out to huge heat. HHH gets helped to the back and gets treated by the trainers. Very good opening. Very vital to keep building Lesnar's intimidation factor.

NOTE: According to reports, Lesnar went nuts backstage after Extreme Rules because of Cena's post-match promo. I too wanted Lesnar to look strong, but Cena's promo didn't help matters. Why not have Cena on a stretcher or something? Relations between Lesnar and WWE purportedly not good. The RAW segment was still the plan all along to get Brock off TV for a while.

Eve announces a Beat the Clock competition. Five matches, person who wins with fastest time gets to face Punk at Over the Limit.

Santino and Miz are first. Fast paced because they want a short match. Miz keeps looking over the clock on the Titantron. Pretty good for 4:18. Miz prevails.

Highlights of the divas match last night with Layla returning and winning the title. Triple threat match tonight. Nikki AND Brie in the match. Dissension in the ranks between the twins. Layla comes out to some fanfare. If you blinked, you missed the match. Layla dropkick to one Bella. The other Bella gets knocked out of the ring. Layla rolls the first Bella up for three. Thanks for being a short "match."

Jericho faces Big Show in the next Beat the Clock match. Clock counts down from 4:18. Jericho's right elbow is taped up. Show misses the Vader Bomb. Lionsault for two. Good stuff here, as even Big Show used a small package to try pin Jericho. Wow. They get to the outside. Show's counted out and Jerichogot back in, but did Jericho win before the clock hit 0:00? Nope! Miz still with the time to beat.

Brodus is out for action. No Hornswoggle tonight. JTG is like...WTF is going on. He may be on the chopping block for talent cuts. Brodus has "Funkasaurus" on the seat of his singlet, and I think that's a Jurassic Park-like design. Don't ask why I observed that one. Rhino headbutt, a suplex, and a big splash. JTG is nuked.

They replay Lesnar's attack on HHH, plus news on Cena.

Eve gives a pep talk to Laurinaitis?! Well, she did a pretty good job. Laurinaitis knows who Cena's next opponent is.

Orton faces Swagger for the next BTC challenge. Still must beat 4:18. Nice back-and-forth action. Great timing on the finish. Ankle lock countered into RKO. Orton beats the clock with two seconds to spare. New time to beat is 4:16.

Kofi and Truth get a tag title shot against Primo and Epico tonight.

Breaking news from Cole...Bellas have been "fired." Looks like Eve takes credit for that one. I honestly wish Kharma could have destroyed the Bellas and sent them packing that way, but I guess she's still not ready to return.

Primo kicks "Little Jimmy," and Truth attacks. Good grief. Lawler then says HHH's arm is broken (for storyline). Kofi gets the hot tag and is a huge ball of energy. Rosa on the apron, but that hurts the cousins this time. Trouble in Paradise ends it and we have new tag champs.

Perfect time for AW to gain three new clients. I'm now interested on who will be a part of AW's stable. The guy can talk. Now it's a matter of building that stable and gaining momentum.

OH HELL NO. They ACTUALLY booked Khali and Kane for a match. This is just tragic. I'm just happy we'll never see Khali vs. Giant Gonzalez. Time runs out as the two guys literally had each other by the throat. I lost brain cells regardless.

Daniel Bryan is part of the last BTC challenge match. And his opponent...JERRY LAWLER?! WTF. They really want DB to face Punk, huh? Jerry gets goodoffense here. He even hit his fist from the second rope,but only two. Piledriver countered. DB with a huge kick and the YES lock to easily beat the clock.

Woohoo, the IWC must be all giddy now! Punk and Bryan! YES YES YES!

Cena has "multiple muscle strains." Right, nothing's broken or torn because he's SuperCena. He's still sporting a sling so Brock looks even better. Here comes Laurinaitis. Big Johnny was trying to "motivate" Cena. Cena does a great Laurinaitis impression...but a lot of people probably can do that one.

Hey, Cena's got that attitude back! Wait a sec, the "WHAT?" chants are back. NO! Must have "YES!" chants! Lord Tensai out with Sakamoto. Cena turns to face them.

Laurinaitis decks Cena with the mic! All three attack. Laurinaitis has full out snapped. Cena faces Laurinaitis at Over the Limit. I dunno about the PPV match, but that was an excellent ending to RAW. Laurinaitis would have to prevail at Over the Limit, and I'd expect Tensai and Sakamoto to again play a big role.

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