Tuesday, April 10, 2012

4/9/12 RAW (More Lesnar/Cena)

Brodus Clay & Santino Marella vs. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger: *1/4

R-Truth vs. Cody Rhodes: N/A (not really much of a match...)

Lord Tensai vs. Yoshi Tatsu: N/A (squash)

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry (WWE Title): N/A

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder: 1/4*

John Cena vs. David Otunga: *

Three Stooges tonight. Of course, I mean the actors in the upcoming movie, not the original guys who have long since passed away. In my book, can't replace the original here.

Look at all the "YES" signs in the crowd. Heard some guy (likely working for WWE) handed out about 30 such signs.

Johnny Laurinaitis comes out to his royal-sounding music. I love it. Even a better fit that David Otunga and his excess body oil/bodybuilding physique accompanies him. Naturally, he is billed as the reason why Lesnar got re-signed. Video shown from end of RAW last week. And Johnny immediately says Lesnar faces Cena at Extreme Rules. Cole directly references Lesnar's UFC championship reign. This may be one of the few times the crowd actually loves Laurinaitis -- although Johnny still gets booed anyway when Lesnar thanks him. Oops! Cena comes out. Crowd going bonkers. Cena wants to thank Lesnar -- BITCHSLAP! Everyone in the back has to separate the two. Whoa! Cena with a bloody mouth! Crowd still going apeshit as the two still find ways to get at each other. Lesnar's dragged out of the ring. Awesome opening segment.

On the replay, it looks like Lesnar's first punch connected square with Cena's face. That's probably what caused the bloody mouth. Laurinaitis blames Teddy Long, duh.

Brodus Clay time. I'm actually getting annoyed with the Brodus intro from Naomi and Cameron. Let them dance, though. Santino amuses me when he dances. Santino is a Stegosaurus. They face Ziggler and Swagger. More dinosaur jokes along the way and this is a boring match so far. Brodus gets to the hot tag eventually. Big splash for three wins it. More dancing post-match. I was looking at the "SI!" signs in the crowd, thanks.

Cena faces Otunga with Laurinaitis at ringside. Teddy Long now a man of few words as JL's lackey. Nice way to speak loud and carry a big stick all at once.

Santino looks for the Three Stooges. Uh oh. He ran into Kane. Power walk out of there!

R-Truth in action against Cody Rhodes. Not really much of a match here. Big Show distraction with video leads to Little Jimmy for three. Show and Cody at Extreme Rules, I guess. IC title rematch with some extreme stipulation.

Santino found the Stooges. Good segment with vintage Stooge material and sound effects. The Mobra! Awesome.

Shanon and Marc Parker of SyFy's "Dream Machines" in the crowd. Debuts tomorrow right after Super Smackdown.

Lord Tensai squash time! Sakamoto accompanies him. Nice move to have Yoshi Tatsu be the squash victim. Yoshi says Tensai isn't Japanese...and he's right. But Lawler said it best: Tensai had a great career in Japan. "Albert" chants during the match, woohoo! I love the mist spit into the hand followed by the claw. Another ref stoppage.

Punk and Jericho videos. Punk faces Mark Henry tonight with the title on the line. Super serious CM Punk tonight. Great stuff as usual. Jericho interrupts and again plays a masterful heel. CM Drunk! It's now about Punk channeling all that darkness to kick Jericho's ass.

Now Henry comes out for his title match. No main event intros this time. Punk with a monitor shot a minute in and Henry gets the DQ win. Jericho comes out with two cases of beer in hand. Henry nukes Punk outside, then inside the ring. Punk fights Jericho off but Codebreaker ends that. Stone Cold won't be pleased. That's good beer going on the canvas! Wonder if they somehow got non-alcoholic stuff. Second Codebreaker. And the refs are all scared to even touch Jericho. Good grief, he isn't an electric fence!

Ryder faces Alberto Del Rio. Looks like WWE is also headed to Russia for the first time. Cross armbreaker ends this one pretty quickly.

Three Stooges time. Let's see what they got. Oops, booed. Hulk Hogan Real American theme?!?! Curly dressed as Hogan. Cole with a possible rib at Hogan..."lost some weight." Did Vince feed you that one? Curly with a vintage Hogan-like promo to promote the Three Stooges movie out on April 13. This blows. KANE! WOOHOO! Moe and Larry split. Curly gets chokeslammed. So much for that.

Henry says Laurinaitis granted him another title shot next week. No DQ, no countout.

Brock with sort of a tweener promo with Josh Mathews. He's getting cheered, especially for his UFC accolades and nuking Cena, but still has that heel aspect by mentioning Laurinaitis' "wisdom." No friends for Brock. Reports are surfacing that he's still "doughy." If so, I hope he can get more conditioned before the 29th.

Superstars are raving about Taker/HHH HIAC at Mania. Just incredible storytelling in that match.

"Mr. Excess Body Oil" David Otunga comes out first for the main event. Last year, I never woulda thought Otunga would have a singles match in the main event of RAW anytime soon. Laurinaitis needs to stop tweeting Michael Cole and just say stuff to his face. Cena's all cleaned up now.

Basic wrestling moves and Otunga posing. Otunga does a flying shoulder tackle?! Cena's opened up again. Vintage Cena comeback. Boring. AA and STF ends it. Laurinaitis not liking it.

Well, JL will love this one. Lesnar with a nut shot to Cena. F-5 again! Good start for Lesnar. He doesn't have to do much. Just show up, do a couple promos, and destroy Cena for now. Crowd certainly likes this.

Lesnar has a Jimmy John's sandwiches logo on the back of his shirt. I'm sure they appreciate the advertising.

Super Smackdown tomorrow. A "Blast From the Past" episode with some WWE legends on hand!

This was clearly not a show to see wrestling matches. Ugh.

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