Tuesday, April 17, 2012

4/12/12 Impact

Gunner vs. Mr. Anderson: *3/4

Austin Aries vs. Christopher Daniels: **1/2

Bully Ray vs. AJ Styles: **3/4

Velvet Sky & Mickie James vs. Gail Kim & Madison Rayne: *1/2

Crowd actually looks legitimately interested tonight!

Eric Bischoff starts the show. Apparently the crowd says they don't care. Eric introduces his team: Bully, Gunner, Daniels, and Kaz. Bully again great on the mic.

So who does Garett have? Crowd looks jacked to see him. Mr. Anderson is his first pick. They just go straight into Anderson and Gunner, so we'll probably see the rest of the picks later in the show. Anderson basically snaps at the end and refuses to stop the assault when Gunner's in the ropes. DQ win for Gunner, but Anderson doesn't care.

Later in the show, ODB and Eric wed in a steel cage, then Roode/Storm showdown.

Enough of this Joseph Park crap. Speed it up. Unleash Abyss. Thank you, Eric Young, for helping speed the process up.

"Motor City!" chants for the MCMG, who get no formal on-screen entrance. Why?! They want Joe and Magnus for the tag titles. Vintage showdown in the ring! Why wait until Lockdown, go now! Mexican-America protests. Joe/Magnus take out Hernandez, while Guns take out Anarquia. So yes, tag titles apparently on the line at Lockdown.

Daniels faces the second member of Team Garett...Austin Aries?! Yes, please! Loved the balancing of theatrics/ego and wrestling. Vintage Aries suicide dive onto Daniels. Handstand springboard splash from Aries?! Wow. "This is wrestling!" chants. Both guys try using the tights on pin attempts but each get caught. No BME, but Aries hits a brainbuster for three. Wish it had more time. Loved what I saw.

The cage is now up. Jeff Hardy segment about Angle. Angle is legit injured, so I'm assuming Jeff wins at Lockdown.

Eric Young still nervous. Sarita and Rosita wear lingerie and flirt with EY. Good luck, EY.

Wedding time. Nice blue tux, EY. ODB in a nice camouflage-colored gown that probably could still work in the Victorian era. No best man or maid of honor. Knockouts tag titles are also there. Locking them inside the cage with the priest! Vintage video...and it's actually amusing. They read vows next...so touching! EY's vows are awesome. ODB takes EY's ring music and gives EY a buffet of bam anytime! Yes yes yes!

If anyone protests, speak now. Oop, here we go. Sarita and Rosita -- temptresses -- enter. Aw, ODB is crying. Hey EY! I'll take both chicas, thanks. ODB strips down as well! EY's torn, but picks ODB. EY strips down as well! Hell, why not, right? Matching underwear!

OH CRAP NO. Not the priest!

ROFL! YES YES YES CHANTS! Both EY and ODB say yes, and they are married.

Third member of Team Garett is AJ Styles. Woohoo. He faces Bully Ray. All team members surround the ring. AJ's wearing gloves tonight. AJ can't clothesline Bully over the top, but Bully with a huge kick on AJ. Bearhug to AJ. Bully continues to focus on the back with that huge back body drop. AJ's still quick, though. Tornado DDT countered, Bully hits Samoan drop for two. Hurricanrana from the top by AJ gets two. All hell breaks loose on the outside. Pele kick, but ref distracted enough, so only two. Bully gets the chain in all this madness. AJ springboards into a chained fist, and Team Eric has the advantage at Lockdown.

WAIT! Hulk Hogan comes out! Match is now five on five. Eric has...THREE MINUTES (just had to do that) to make a decision. Ric wants to go at it, but Eric wants to be the fifth guy, assuming Hogan is the fifth guy for Team Garett. With Hogan's back, we know better. Hogan is NOT the fifth guy. Guess who's the fifth guy now? ROB...VAN...DAM! Oh damn. Didn't think it would be RVD. I woulda been content with Garett just being the fifth guy just for kicks.

So I guess Team Eric keeps the advantage, but two more guys are involved now.

Knockouts get the last match of the night. Taz wants to turn the pigeons loose, but Velvet won't do it. Ha, sucks to be Taz. I love it when Mickie kips up to her feet. Velvet wants Gail, but Gail tags Madison in. Mickie gets beat down for a bit, hot tag to Velvet. Eat Defeat countered into In Yo Face for three. Velvet gets the better of Gail again. Actually wondering now if TNA pulls the trigger and lets Velvet win at Lockdown.

Roode and Storm showdown ends the show. RR has his security again. Both talk about Beer Money's success, then take jabs at each other. Very passionate stuff. Good buildup for Lockdown in three days. Will they finally give Storm the win in Nashville over Roode? We'll see....

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