Ratings/Analysis:
Austin Aries vs. Brian Kendrick (X-Division Title): Nice match to start this show off. This 225-pound weight limit thing should be good, although I'll miss seeing guys like Samoa Joe contend for that belt. A pro-Aries crowd in Philly...likely remembering his ROH days. Mat wrestling, then Aries decides to call a timeout, but Kendrick flies onto Aries. Kendrick with a couple monkey flips before Aries counters. Kendrick staying pesky with the offense but Aries continues to get his shots in. Suicide dive from Aries gets more pops. Kendrick with Sliced Bread #2 but Aries got the foot on the ropes. Cheap shot + brainbuster for Aries ends it. Solid here. **3/4
Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn (Full Metal Mayhem): It's physical from the start, filled with counters and strikes. Ladders, tables, chairs, yup, they're all involved here. Dropkick from Lynn to the ladder catches RVD in the face. Yet RVD comes back. Corner dropkick w/chair to Lynn. Vintage RVD! Rolling Thunder on ladder! Haha, EC-Dub chants! Lynn comes back and gets RVD to lie on the ladder. Lynn goes for a senton or something off the second rope, RVD moves, and Lynn's back now hates him more. RVD misses Van Daminator, Lynn throws the chair in RVD's face. German with a bridge for two. RVD suplexes Lynn on the ladder again. Moonsault onto Lynn for two. Lynn looks for another ladder. Ladder propped up like a ramp on the outside. Suplex by RVD? Nope, countered. Lynn sunset flip powerbombs RVD into the ladder! Lynn landed awkwardly, lucky break because it coulda been real bad there. Lynn misses chair shot...Van Daminator! Only two! Lynn down in the corner. Ladder placed on top. RVD grabs a chair...Van Terminator attempt! Oh damn he hit it! ROFL, "Oh Shit!" chants! That's all folks! ***1/2
Crimson vs. Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan: Joe wants Crimson and Morgan to fight, but they work on Joe instead. Crimson then (inadvertently?) elbows Morgan. Morgan stunned, and Joe takes advantage to work on Crimson. Joe again tries to get Morgan to fight Crimson, but that didn't work either. Crimson low bridged to the outside, and Joe works on Morgan. Joe backdrops Crimson to the outside...landing on Morgan Suicide dive by Joe! Whoa, WTF? Morgan to the top?! Flying crossbody (sorta) onto Crimson! Looked like he was going for Joe, but Joe had moved out of the way. Joe with shots to Crimson again. Crimson fighting back. Mostly a boring match with some OK spots (thanks to Joe). Crimson and Morgan pulling each other off Joe when the other goes for a pin. Fire's been lit! Joe's back in and starts working on both guys. Muscle Buster on Crimson...nope, Morgan breaks that up. Carbon Footprint misses, Crimson hits the spear on Joe for three! **1/2
Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray (Philadelphia Falls Count Anywhere): Anderson doesn't do the mic intro today, it's fast start between these two! Anderson gets moves in on Ray. Vintage airbag shot to Ray! Damn, huge kick by Ray there to gain control. Nasty chops from Ray, double ow. Enzugiri from Anderson! Anderson gets a sign..."Welcome to Philly, Asshole." Anderson nukes Ray with it...whoa, not just your regular ol' sign. It's a Dead End sign underneath! One more shot! Ray tries to get away, but now they fight on the floor. Oops, there goes the beer! Ray whips Anderson into the steps for two. Tables! Yes! Table set up near the ring. Anderson and Ray fight up the ramp. Ray suplexes Anderson on the ramp for two. Ray is cut on his head. He signals for Anderson's mic and mocks Anderson. Anderson's up! Microphone shot to Ray for two! They're backstage. Ray misses with a lead pipe. Oh shit! Ray delivers a piledriver on the concrete! Only two? How was Anderson not dead there? Chair across Anderson's throat. Now they go to the crowd! Back to the ring, and Anderson continues the assault. Anderson grabs part of the steel barricade! Ray gets a clothesline in and...another table?! He sets that one up in the ring. Anderson backdrops Ray onto the barricade...it's bent now! Kenton bomb from Anderson misses! Anderson hit the back of his head on that rail. Bubba Bomb on the table! Only two?!?! Anderson placed on the barricade again. Bully with a back splash...misses and Ray's back hates him now as well. Mic Check on the steel! Only two!!! On the outside again. Garbage can shot to Ray! Ray is on the table on the outside. Anderson goes to the top! Anderson with the Kenton bomb to Ray...but he overshot the table just a hair and the table didn't break. Crowd didn't like that. Improvise that finish! Mic Check on the table! Three count! ***3/4
Looks like they've finally just come out and admitted Jackson James is Bischoff's son. Not surprisingly, Tenay and Taz play dumb on this.
Velvet Sky vs. Winter vs. Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne (Knockouts Title): Nice hat, Mickie. Karen Jarrett out in the ref's outfit here. Madison sucking up to Karen and giving her the crown. Looks like it's one-on-one only, so the other two can tag in whenever. Good sequence from Winter and Mickie. Winter to the outside, and Madison in with something that she brushes in Mickie's face. Mickie goes outside and Velvet comes in to tango with Madison. Karen's slower to make the count than a sloth. Winter and Madison want to go at it, but Karen says no...she wants Mickie and Velvet in? Um, sure. So they try to go for pins on each other and Karen doesn't care (of course).Mickie with some moves, then decks Madison. Velvet comes back with her offense, and she decks Winter. Ha. Winter and Madison pull Velvet and Mickie outside, respectively. Winter and Mickie go at it inside the ring now. Angelina slips the mist to Winter. Oops! Winter gets Karen in the face! Jumping DDT to Winter! No ref! Here comes Traci Brooks! Madison and Velvet now go at it. Velvet hits her version of a facebuster/Pedigree on Madison...three count! *1/2
AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels (I Quit): Yeah, this should be good. Styles with new music. Quick start here. Nice and physical to start. AJ comes back and tries to get Daniels to eat the microphone. Gutbuster again by Styles. Abdominal stretch to Daniels. No quit yet. Daniels counters out. Delayed suplex by AJ, then a Chancery move! Daniels doesn't quit. Daniels gets out of that, but into an armbreaker! This is what's awesome about this business...stuff like this. Chops by Daniels. Vinatage Styles with the dropkick and the helo over the top rope. Daniels grabbed a toolbox...threw a wrench at AJ that missed. Screwdriver! Daniels tried to stab AJ but that was blocked. Crowd still fairly dead at this point. Daniels with some move on the apron...AJ went into the ropes, then the apron. Ouch. Good camera shot of the screwdriver in the turnbuckle. BME to AJ's back. One more time? Nah, single-leg Boston Crab this time. AJ literally clawing his way to the ropes and gets there. AJ tries more offense, but a backbreaker from Daniels. Faint split chants from the crowd. Daniels with a chair. He puts it on AJ's throat. AJ's cut on his forehead. Love how Daniels stopped short of saying "I Quit" himself. Daniels taunting AJ's wife and kids. Daniels misses the KO chair shot. AJ fighting back now. Moonsault into a inverted reverse DDT.Springboard clothesline. Style Clash blocked into uranagi. BME missed, Pele! Styles Clash! But pinfalls are irrelevant! AJ with the chair! He tosses that aside...screwdriver! Daniels cowers to the corner and quits, then runs away. Crowd deflated and so am I. ***
Post-match, Daniels with the attack. Angel's Wings on the stage and Daniels gloats more. "He didn't beat me!" Um...I guess he means AJ didn't force him to quit? Or AJ didn't win by pinfall or submission? Yeah, whatever will keep this feud going, I guess.
Jeff Jarrett talking about Jeff Hardy and how no one wants Hardy back. Calls "Nero" (Hardy's middle name) out. Hardy with new music again. Hardy comes in and basically starts pummeling Jarrett. JJ fights back but Hardy with a clothesline. Jarrett's shirt ripped off as security separates the two. Woohoo! D'Lo Brown sighting! Al Snow sighting! Chants for D'Lo! Yes! Yeah, I'm down with the Brown!
Sting vs. Hulk Hogan: I'm calling it now...this should be ugly. Jackson James is the ref, of course. Dixie Carter at ringside. Sting rockin' the Hulkamania T-shirt. Hogan gimping around the ring in an Impact Wrestling shirt. Hogan thinks this is a boxing match or something. Oh, well, of course someone's gonna have to fight for Hogan -- or at least help him out. Flair comes out looking all spiffy. So they finally lock up after an eternity. Hogan with a shoulderblock and the crowd goes nuts just for that. Oh Sting's shirt is off...they're both fired up! Back to lame restholds from Hogan. More punches, clubbing blows from Hogan. Sting has to watch out for Flair on the outside. Sting tossed to the floor so Flair gets involved as Hogan occupies the ref. Hogan and Flair with low blows, and even if the ref saw that, he ain't calling it. Hogan biting Sting. This is absolutely putrid. Flair passes foreign object passed to Hogan...a spike or something. Hogan clubs Sting with that spike and punches Sting about 20 more times. Sting's busted open now because that's the only way that the crowd will stay in this one. Sting with punches to Hogan, then chases Flair. Sting decks Flair a couple times and then nails Hogan with that spike a couple times. Hogan's bleeding now. Stinger Splash to Hogan, a shot to Flair, then another Stinger Splash to Hogan's surgically repaired back. Scorpion Death Lock! Hogan's basically on his side because of the back surgery. Hogan taps, but Jackson James is reluctant to call for the bell but eventually does. Thanks for wasting my time with this crap. -****
Flair assaults Sting, and Immortal now in. Bully Ray with a chair shot. Gunner with a chair shot to Sting. Steiner with a chair shot. Abyss peering through the curtain in the back. Jackson James takes the chair from Bischoff! Whoa! And then Bischoff whacks his son in the back with the chair. Beatdown continues. Flair with the most pathetic looking punches ever...worse than Cena. Sting asking Hogan for help? WTF? Crowd all riled up now.Hulk tearing the shirt! Hogan taking everyone out! Sting and Hogan united? I'm with Taz, what's going on here? Bischoff cowering in the corner now. Hogan KOs Bischoff! Apparently...the "real" Hulk Hogan is back? Sting wants Hogan to do his vintage Hogan poses! Jackson James holding his back and raises Hogan's hand. This was a complete waste of my time. Ugh.
Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode (World Title): No main event intros here...huh? Roode going for the crossface early but Angle got the ropes. At least Angle's worked with Benoit before. Yeah, I said Benoit's name...so what? Angle works on Roode in the corner, then a suplex for two. Angle trying for more pins but that won't work here. Angle now with a bearhug, Roode gets out, but then multiple German suplexes from Angle gets two. Angle moonsault...gets caught! Roode tosses Angle, Angle pretty much lands on his head, BIG ouch. Big clothesline from Roode. Bobby on the second rope with a blockbuster move for two. Chops from Roode now. Belly-to-belly from Angle gets two. DDT to Roode for two, and man Bobby landed on his head that time. Straps come down from Angle. Angle Slam countered into RR spinebuster for two. Angle caught Roode on the top with a throw and gets two. Crossface to Angle! Nice ring position. Holy cow, what a counter into the Ankle Lock. Back into the crossface! Great sequence here. Angle tries to pin RR and gets two. Back to crossface! RR telling Kurt to tap. Roll-through into the Angle Slam for two! Ankle lock countered...RR spinebuster again! RR with a fisherman's suplex for a CLOSE near fall. Angle with the ankle lock again, countered into a victory roll for two. Angle Slam countered, RR to the second rope. Angle uses the ref as a shield. Ref tossed aside, Angle low blows RR behind the ref's back. Angle Slam...and only two! Multiple German suplexes from Angle again. RR counters! Crossface again! Angle crawling closer to the ropes. Angle didn't see the ropes but got underneath them so the hold is broken anyway. Angle with a spear(?!) for two. Angle to the top, gets caught in the crossface again! Again Angle slips out. Angle Slam countered, Fisherman's countered, Angle Slam! RR's hand was under the ropes, Angle had the ropes for leverage, and the ref missed ALL that. Really tainted a potentially good match here. I liked how RR was able to catch Angle in the crossface so much (and counter a bunch of Angle's stuff), but for me, I really wanted that crowd more alive, especially in a world title match. **3/4
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Final Thoughts:
Apparently, Hogan lobbied for Angle to retain because he felt RR wasn't ready for a title reign yet. Yeah Hogan, way to not have faith in your younger talent. One day, Roode will become a champ, I just know it.
Speaking of talent...has Hogan ever had any in the ring? He makes John Cena look like Shawn Michaels or Davey Richards out there. By far the worst "match" I've seen in a long time, and frankly, I never want that on TV or PPV again. Hell, I'd go so far as to say this was worse than Jenna Morasca and Sharmell (taking into account the ages of Sting and Hogan, wrestling experience, and especially the fact that Hogan should have stopped all this wrestling stuff years ago).
And AJ/Daniels can entertain me all they like. Post-match attack was nice to keep the feud going and I expect more great things from them. The finish here was a huge deflating moment, so I'm hoping for better next time.
A few good matches here, although if this is supposed to be the biggest show of the year, it didn't meet my expectations. Not by a long shot. **
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