Tuesday, September 4, 2012

9/3/12 RAW

Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton: **3/4

Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes & Tensai: *3/4

Sheamus vs. CM Punk Jack Swagger: *

Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn: -*1/2 (yes, that's negative one-and-a-half stars)

Ryback vs. Jinder Mahal: 1/2*

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella (U.S. Title): N/A

Zack Ryder vs. Heath Slater: *1/4

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena (Falls Count Anywhere): ***

Punk takes Lawler out before RAW starts, so Cole's solo on commentary again. I don't mind Lawler off color, but I'd rather have Punk take out some midcarders instead of a commentator.

We're in Chicago. Sheamus starts the show saying he'll beat Del Rio at Night of Champions, but Punk interrupts to a HUGE hometown hero ovation. Naturally, Cena will get booed here. Punk is back with more pipebombs. Sheamus throws down a challenge to Punk, but Punk basically brushes him off. AJ Lee makes two matches: Del Rio vs. Cena and Sheamus vs. Punk. Good stuff.

Great match between Orton and Ziggler. Could really see the chemistry between the two. Nice to have Ziggler steal one via holding the tights. Keep that MITB momentum going.

Miz on commentary. No problems with that.

Anger Management time! YES! Harold switches places with a lady, ha. Anger Collage time! Kane rules again. Vintage Kane pyro from the trash can! Teacher's pet indeed.

Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio teaming together should really help Cara adjust. Could get to the point where Cara turns heel down the road and face off against one another. They face Cody and Tensai tonight. Cody continues to go after Cara's mask. Cara pins Cody with the senton bomb. Looked pretty good out there, kept it short.

Anger management skit #2. Kane catches a falling DB. Harold (a.k.a. wrestler Scorpio Sky) falls back. Daniel and Kane don't catch him. Daniel understands Kane! Progress! YES!

Sheamus and Punk next. Punk out in street clothes. Oh, he's taking the day off. After all, it's Labor Day! AJ gets another opponent: Jack Swagger. Del Rio and Ricardo come out to observe. Sheamus unveils a submission finisher, the good ol' Texas Cloverleaf. Probably will just be referred to as a "Cloverleaf" to reflect Sheamus being Irish. I like the new move. Having multiple ways to win can be a great thing. Match was average.

Sheamus takes out ADR and Ricardo. Ricardo eats the Brogue Kick for Alberto.

Eve and Kaitlyn next. Congrats to Eve who won the Stars and Stripes reality show. Kaitlyn continues to get very little reaction. Layla on commentary. Miz and Layla quarrel on commentary, but at least Cole shut up for a while. Match in the ring was filled with botches and little chemistry. End was awkward. Not sure if Kaitlyn legitimately had the wind knocked out of her, but even the snap neckbreaker finisher was horrible. Frankly, one of the worst matches I've seen in a while. I rarely give negative stars anymore, but this deserved it. Eve shakes Layla's hand afterward. Yay tension?

Swagger's the next to leave, as the whole "losing streak" seems to have gotten to him. Another extension of the "Vickie Guerrero for RAW GM" storyline, citing AJ's losing control of the talent and promoting unsafe working environment.

Anger management skit #3. So DB and Kane eventually will have another match. Yeah, DB and Kane back to quarreling, but the best part for me was the doc flipping out at the end. YES!

Cole's on the mic. NO! Up to fans to see if DB and Kane should have a match tonight. HUG IT OUT? WTF! That's a new one for me.

David Otunga has another client. So Ricardo's suing Sheamus now for criminal assault, I guess? Yet another one to add to the WWE tally!

Jinder and Ryback next. "Feed me more" has really gotten over. Just another short win for Ryback.

DB and Kane in the ring. Tweet from Josh Mathews about likely needing to take matters into his own hands about the Kane situation. ROFL, IT'S TIME TO HUG IT OUT! Poll was completely set up for that, wasn't it? "Hug it out!" chants?! Wow. DB hugs Kane, but Kane doesn't do the same. "HUG HIM BACK!" Kane does that, and DB doesn't hug now. Gotta hug at the same time?! OK, they do. I can't believe this took 8 minutes. And then they fight. Chair involved. One of the most bizarre moments this year, easily. I lost brain cells on this, I really did.

Santino and Cesaro next. More of the cobra problems for Santino. Too short for me to even care to rate. Yeah, nice way to care about your U.S.title matches.

Ryder and Slater now up to fill more time. Rough Ryder wins it, and Vickie quickly interrupts for the next segment. Holding show hostage. Then she talks to an imaginary AJ. Real AJ Lee comes out. So now she can't touch anyone. Leave it to Vickie to fan the flames. Two Vickie slaps and lots of evil laughing later, AJ with a nervous breakdown. Couldn't have just put Vickie in a match? Probably not, because then more complaining would occur.

Cena and ADR is Falls Count Anywhere. Cena comes out to the usual mixed reaction. Cena with a dropkick tonight. Hey, it's a Randy Savage lookalike! Attitude Adjustment countered, and ADR with a back suplex on Cena through the announce table -- only two?! Wow. Nice counters in this one, much better than I thought it would be. They get backstage and destroy stuff there. AA on the TV equipment containers, but Punk right on cue with a kick to Cena's head. ADR with the win.

Punk then drops Cena GTS-style on the hood of the his car, holds the WWE Title up, and gets back in the car. HEY, IT'S PAUL HEYMAN DRIVING! YES! End show. Nice ending there, fellas.

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