Friday, February 3, 2012

2/3/12 Smackdown

Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes: **

Primo & Epico vs. Santino Marella & Hacksaw Jim Duggan: *1/4

Tamina & Aksana vs. Beth Phoenix & Natalya: N/A (WTF?)

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett (No Countout, No DQ): ***1/2

Teddy Long announces the SD Elimination Chamber match: DB, Wade Barrett, Big Show, Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, and Orton. Good choices. I liked Cody's inclusion here. His big push continues!

Henry wants a title match tonight. Long refuses. Henry flips Long's tie, so just for that, Henry's indefinitely suspended? Where the hell was this Long with a backbone all this time? Is it because Johnny Laurinaitis grew a set the last couple weeks?! Just because Henry legit needs time off for his injuries? Please. Sheamus to the rescue. Brogue Kick to Henry and Mark leaves. Wondering who's replacing Henry in the chamber now.

Sheamus still (obviously) undecided on who he's facing. He'll tell after Elimination Chamber. Oh, the suspense! But tonight, it's Sheamus and Cody. Cody gloats on being one of the workhorses in the Rumble (about 45 minutes) and taking out six guys. Impressive stuff. Vintage Warrior reference!

Sheamus and Cody in a match. Cody's got the best moonsault in WWE, in my book. Booker made no sense on his Rumble appearance explanation. First he says he was cold. Then he said he was prepared. Um, if you're prepared, you're likely not going in've been training and psyched up, warmed up, and ready to go. Moron.

Oh dang! Sheamus uses Finlay's old finisher -- which was also named the Celtic Cross when Finlay used it. I like it. Expanding moveset!

Cody's still at ringside as Justin Gabriel comes out. Hunico and Camacho on the bike. Triple-team on Gabriel. WTF, Khali again?! The guy only has like three moves! Hunico gets nuked. Ugh, not sure why Khali's even a wrestler. I don't care...make Khali a comedy guy again for all I care. Just don't make him wrestle anymore. The guy's got horrible knees anyway.

Who's Teddy Long to say that he hates predictable TV? He's predictable every damn week! He's on McIntyre's case again. Predictable!

Santino with...Hacksaw! SANTIHOOOOOOO!!!! Tag title match tonight. Oh boy.

Vintage Aksana appearance! I guess she's good at something. "It's a massive piece of wood!" Spit-take! Hacksaw's back! "HOOOOO!" ROFL. That was good.

Mike Tyson's going in the WWE Hall of Fame. I'm cool with it. They induct celebrities all the time now. If we got guys like Drew Carey in the HOF, Tyson should definitely be in.

Hacksaw's music is vintage awesome. Good way to give Primo and Epico more fodder to beat. Rosa didn't really do much, but it worked. Average stuff.

Cole's interviewing DB. Oh boy, not again. Cole's extending the olive branch. DB shoos Cole away. More gloating from DB! DB's a role model! Be a vegan! No clogged arteries! Good job dissing the fans. I can just imagine someone now coming up to DB and slapping him with a piece of steak.

DB's not wanting to defend his title in the chamber. This from the same guy who said he'd be a fighting champ. Vintage hypocrite! Whoa, he's going to the BOD!

Oops, here comes Show. Nice work from Show on the mic. "Pompus arrogant little ass!" DB provokes Show. Beatdown time! Oh wait, AJ comes out in a soft neck brace. WMD to DB? AJ somehow with her "mighty" strength, prevents it. DB scampers away. He and AJ hug. Everyone now..."AWWWWWW!!!"

Natalya's flatulence is staying. I'm pissed off at that. I like the heel, serious Natalya. Don't turn her into a carnival sideshow. We already got people like Santino for that. Yup, Santino sold the fart very well.

Divas tag. Beth shows her selfish, dominant ways. Match was less than a minute. Dissension in the ranks between Beth and Natalya? Nattie gets nuked by Tamina. Sucks to be Nattie right now.

Time for Orton and Barrett to kill each other. Good physical stuff. Orton has a table! Barrett put Orton through it. Wait, that didn't end it? Dang. Barrett got a lot of good offense in. Woohoo, into the crowd! Orton into the steps. Uh oh, remember Orton's history of shoulder problems. Orton nuked with chair shots. Wasteland on chair countered. Vintage Orton comeback! Chair shots to Barrett now. He hears voices! Crowd likes it. Orton wedges the chair in the corner Barrett into the propped chair! Announce table time! Back in ring...Winds of Change slam, but Orton foot on ropes. Great match here. Barrett's back is all welted. Pumphandle...countered into an RKO! Exclamation point! RKO on the chair! Tremendous.

Quick backstage segment with DB, AJ, and Long. DB vs. Orton next week! Yes! Loving that. Huh?! DB to the ring and Orton is like...WTF? Me too.

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