Ratings/Analysis:
R-Truth vs. Rey Mysterio: I love R-Truth's entrance...no music, just "The Truth shall set you free!" A pretty normal match to start. Nice offense from Mysterio on the comeback; started with a nice bulldog from the top. Rey kicks out of that Lie Detector, so I guess it's just a signature move now. I felt the end was a bit anticlimactic, but it works. R-Truth needed to win this one. I also liked the water bit at the end from R-Truth, with Cole letting us know how this heel turn started. **1/4
Nice Miz promo.
Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett (IC Title): Really just a slow, average match in the beginning. Jackson's consecutive bodyslams are the lamest face comeback move ever. And basically, that's the end of that. I can't believe the crowd actually was waking up when Jackson delivered those slams. This isn't 1985, dammit. And DQ finishes are still lame. 3/4*
Sin Cara vs. Chavo Guerrero: Sin Cara already with a PPV match, yay. I feel like I'm gonna like this feud. I still don't get why Sin Cara's entrance lights remain the way they are during the match. Vintage Sin Cara being a spot monkey! Not a bad match here. Although it was slow at times, there were a bunch of high-flying spots to make up for it. Some good lucha libre spots too, but the finish was botched. *1/2
The Big Show & Kane vs. CM Punk & Mason Ryan (Tag Team Titles): Average match here to me. Yeah, we all knew New Nexus wasn't winning, right? *1/2
Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly (Divas Title): WTF, did Kelly Kelly just do a "stinkface" on Brie? I liked Kelly's aggression in this one. Vintage twin magic and it's pretty much over. I was honestly hoping for Kharma to interfere in the match and nuke everyone. 3/4*
Randy Orton vs. Christian (World Heavyweight Title): And we have title match introductions after the two enter the ring, so it looks like we have foreshadowing of a good match. Nice back-and-forth action. Vintage headbutt from Christian, reminds me of some deceased wrestler that people will leave nameless. Lots of near falls, great stuff. BILLY GOAT'S CURSE FROM ORTON! WTF? I marked out right there. Amazing counters. They're still going at it! Big move after big move. Wow. Spear? No, into an Orton powerslam! Near fall! This is outstanding. Punt? No...SPEAR! NEAR FALL! WTF? It's coming down to the finishers. Counter! Counter! RKO! Match of the night. Period. Christian is frustrated...still shakes Orton's hand. I'm liking this. Keep the heel turn slow; it'll eventually happen. ****1/2
Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole (Kiss My Foot): There's no way Lawler would lose this, right? I laughed so hard when the ref tore up Cole's doctor's note. And Cole's pants are ripped 15 seconds in! Cole's foot is nasty. And the Cole Mine is dead after Lawler threw Cole into it! Effective, short match. Nice. *1/4
Eve comes out. Moonsault to Cole! Lawler removes the boot, but wait...there's more. Jim Ross! BBQ sauce! Hoping it's the hot sauce! Cole runs off. WTF, IT'S BRET HART?! Markout moment #2! Sharpshooter! Lawler's foot in Cole's mouth! Yeah!
The Miz vs. John Cena (I Quit; WWE Title): Again, championship match introductions (intros after both combatants enter the ring). Good move by Miz to utilize Alex Riley early for mind games. Cena got some offense in, and then basically got his ass kicked for a long time. Miz and Riley used a bunch of weapons. Cena trying to be SuperCena and getting cut off. Ref bump...but does it really matter too much? I actually kinda wished Miz asked "Miz Girl" about Cena instead of some random dude wearing a Cena shirt.
Then they did the ol' Rock/Mankind segment where Cena said "I quit" -- from the promo on RAW. But ha, they used Riley's cell phone. And of course Riley had to fuck up! No dice for Miz. Ref restarts the match. And here comes SuperCena. And Miz can't even last ten seconds in the STF. This was absolute crap, I'm sorry. Perhaps if Miz had actually been able to leave the PPVwith the belt, I would have given it a higher rating. But seriously, I feel like I watched some bullcrap hulking up segment from circa 1987 where the face gets methodically beaten down for 20 minutes, then the face gets a chance to come back -- and the heel loses in about two minutes. It makes zero sense to me. A waste of my damn time...at least 20 minutes I'll never get back. DUD
_________________
Final Thoughts:
First thing I noticed was no Randy Savage video tribute before the PPV started (but they did at least acknowledge his death). I guess they are waiting until the final toxicology reports come back to see what really happened (autopsy on Savage was inconclusive).
The card was mainly average to slightly above-average. And then we got Orton/Christian in an epic match. Simply awesome. As you can see from above, I was into that one big time.
The match between Lawler and Cole may not have been the best, but it had nice crowd reaction and a very memorable post-match segment -- in a good way.
I've already said what I wanted to say about Cena/Miz.
Capitol Punishment is the name of WWE's June PPV, and it fittingly takes place in Washington, D.C. I do wonder if Batista will be around at least visiting friends backstage or something. **1/4 (thank you, Orton and Christian)
No comments:
Post a Comment