Tuesday, July 17, 2012

7/16/12 RAW (Show #999)

Kofi Kingston & R-Truth vs. Titus O'Neil & Darren Young (Tag Team Titles): *3/4

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder: N/A (squash)

Rikishi vs. Heath Slater: N/A (squash...almost literally)

Daniel Bryan & AJ vs. Miz & Eve Torres: 1/2*

Ryback vs. Jack Swagger: N/A

Brodus Clay vs. JTG: 1/2*

CM Punk vs. Big Show: **

This is the LAST scheduled 2-hour RAW. Next week is RAW's 1000th episode and the show becomes THREE hours. WWE has clearly attempted to stack the 1000th show with huge names, past and present. Notably, stars like The Rock and Brock Lesnar are scheduled to appear.

Tonight, it's Vegas! Punk starts the show to a great pop. Face promo where he brings up the epic "pipebomb" promo last year. Big Show interrupts. Fans say Show still sucks. Show makes great points about how the company revolves around Cena (who Show didn't actually name). Punk could lose the title tonight if Show hits the WMD on Punk and Cena takes advantage. Yeah, Show's been a victim of MITB (see Daniel Bryan). Would Cena cash it in like how Edge started such a trend a few years ago?

WWE on YouTube now has the first RAW episode up. Honestly, I never thought RAW would hit 1000 episodes, especially when it first started out. Then again, I also never expected TNA to last 10 years. The latter seemed much more unlikely.

Where's the RAW Roulette wheel? We're in Vegas, baby!

Tag team title match between Boom Jimmys and Primetime Players. They had a preshow match on MITB, where the champs prevailed. New hashtag for PTP...#moneymakingscholars! AW still with that mic and Titus still barks. Note, no mention anymore of Mason Ryan, who was also seen among AW's stable in the past. AW distraction doesn't work. Trouble in Paradise and Little Jimmy on Titus allow the champs to retain. Big oops for AW. AW goes ballistic on the ref. Again, D-Young has to break things up.

DB apologizes to AJ. Eve wants revenge on DB for abandoning her in the mixed tag match. Eve can't actually say what payback is because it's a PG show. Yet, Rock can still say "ass" and "lady parts." Lovely. DB kisses AJ. Oh no, it's the kiss of death! Maybe.

Why the HELL do we want to see or hear the first Tout that John Cena ever sent out? Good grief.

Alberto and Ryder in a match. Alberto being more aggressive in the ring, so we should see another title reign eventually. Cross armbreaker fairly quick and ADR wins. Just a squash.

HELL YES, IT'S REY MYSTERIO. He doesn't live too far away from Vegas, and Rey was already advertised for the Smackdown taping today in his hometown of San Diego. He's been out about a year due to injuries and a Wellness Policy suspension (that's two violations, by the way). I missed Rey when he initially left, but had started to get used to not seeing him around. I hope the knee's healed up as well as it can be, because Rey at half-speed is still better than at least half of the roster. Rey nails ADR with the 619. Another feud with Alberto? I'm for it.

Heath Slater talks about his whole "feud" with the various legends he's faced lately. I hope his single never sees iTunes. Then again, it could become a cult hit like Jillian Hall's entrance theme. Do it, Heath!

So who does Slater welcome this week? WOOHOO, RIKISHI! My friend from high school loved Rikishi's dancing back in the day. I'm sure the Usos are thrilled to see their dad do his thing again. Rikishi's put on a bit more weight. Nice of Rikishi to use the Samoan Spike (Umaga) and the Banzai Drop (Yokozuna). Squash win for Rikishi...almost literally. Oh, and there's your vintage Stinkface. But woohoo, let's end with some dancing! Loved seeing the Usos dance with their dad. Take notes, Brodus Clay.

Fans still chant "Hoeski" at Eve. Her tag partner tonight is Miz! Woohoo, awesome! DB gets a HUGE ovation and a lot of "YES" chants. Mixed tag was real basic stuff. DB helps AJ score the pin on Eve.

DB on the mic and I guess he finally wants to tell AJ that he loves her. Everyone now..."AWWWWWW!" OH, HE'S GOT A RING. And here we go again with the magic four words! It's a yes! I wonder if this was meant for Brie Bella had the Bellas stuck around. And the wedding is gonna be on the 100th show. Why the hell not?

Rock and Austin feuding back in the day. Just classic. Fighting on the bridge and Austin going over the bridge. Title in the water. Yup. It's gold, Jerry! Gold!

Swagger actually gets an entrance this time! But Ryback is gonna nuke him. Sucks to be Swagger. Ryback in his hometown tonight. Still "GOLD-BERG!" chants. Swagger attacked early and got that gutwrench powerbomb I hadn't seen in a while. Ref didn't even start the match. Swagger got a few shots in, but then that lariat and a few powerbombs from Ryback. Well, at least Ryback now goes to town on established stars, right? If Vince really wants to push Ryback to the moon, Ryback MUST get a feud started, pronto. WWE is likely not too happy with those "GOLDBERG" chants, but it's better than no response.

Vickie introduces Ziggler, who won the MITB contract for a World Heavyweight Title shot in the future. Vickie echoes all those key words. Oh, it's Jericho to interrupt! Ziggler's right, Jericho hasn't won much of anything lately. Jericho's "all hype." Jericho's "lost his touch." One Codebreaker ended that. No words from Jericho, loved that. Great segment to start the feud. This is likely the feud Ziggler needs to vault him to permanent main event status.

Christian defends the IC Title on the 1000th RAW, as determined by the WWE Universe. At least the results were close. And Christian has the Peep Show next week with AJ and DB.

Brodus dances his way to the ring for a match. Fans aren't too into Brodus' thing after seeing Rikishi earlier. Wait, JTG's still employed?! JTG got Brodus down, but Funkasaurus still gets the win eventually.

Donald Trump remembers Vince getting his head shaved at WM after Umaga lost to Bobby Lashley. I remember it because Lashley tore off Lilian Garcia's dress after Vince tried to hide his bald head on RAW.

DX reunion on 1000th RAW. I guess it's HHH and HBK again. From what I hear, X-Pac won't be there. Maybe Road Dogg will make an appearance.

Punk and Show ends the show. Show dominates most of the match, so it's a pretty damn slow bout. Show targets Punk's ribs. Punk with the comeback. Three kicks to Show's head, then three running knees in the corner. Show's head hits the post, and the big man's down. Savage elbow only gets two as the crowd goes nuts. Show chokeslam only two because Punk got the foot on the ropes. Show goes berserk, attacking Punk's ribs more and shoving the ref. DQ win for Punk. Punk's really beaten down here.

Cena comes out and Big Show leaves. Will he cash in the briefcase? Oh, and the briefcase handle is repaired now. Cena on the mic. Oh right, that stupid announcement again from Cena. Show basically tells him to cash in the briefcase.

Cena says no, he's cashing it in next week on the 1000th RAW. You know, maybe Cena will be the first to lose after cashing in the briefcase, but ratings apparently go up when Cena's champion. John doesn't need the title, he really doesn't. Punk's having a great reign and some four-star matches. It's basically another Summer of Punk. It would be great to add another to the list.

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