Monday, January 16, 2012

1/16/12 RAW

Primo & Epico vs. Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne (Tag Team Titles): *

Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder (U.S. Title): N/A (squash)

Brie Bella & Nikki Bella vs. Kelly Kelly & Alicia Fox: N/A

Sheamus vs. R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett vs. The Miz (Over the Top Rope): *

John Cena vs. Jack Swagger: N/A (no match)

Brodus Clay vs. JTG: N/A (squash)

CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, & Chris Jericho vs. Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, & David Otunga: **3/4

The show (a RAW supershow) takes place on MLK Day, so of course, we open with snippets of King's "I Have a Dream" speech. Without question, one of the most powerful speeches of all time.

Hey, Mick Foley is in the house! It's time for a cheap pop, right Anaheim, CA! Foley's in the Rumble, and he calls them contestants! Vickie and Ziggler come out. Foley's saying you can't predict the Rumble! You know, in a sense, he's right. Never woulda thought Santino would be at the end last year. Whoa, Ziggler called Foley a glorified stuntman! Win! Ziggler cut a great promo there. Now it's Punk's turn. Huge pop for the Straight Edge one. Punk...awesome as usual. 'Nuff said.

Dang, Vickie didn't go there on the anorexia thing, did she? Guess so. Aw, Johnny Laurinaitis won't let Mick in the Rumble. Maybe Teddy Long will? Was the whole laughing Vickie spot necessary?

In case you didn't know, Primo and Epico won the tag titles at a house show in Oakland the previous night. One of the rare times a title changes hands on a non-televised event. Match wasn't even three and a half minutes. Average stuff. Not sure if this was finally Evan Bourne's punishment taking effect. Note Bourne has been the one pinned now on both tag title matches.

Hey, Laurinaitis says Jericho will be in the six-man tag tonight! And of course, Jericho doesn't speak one word.

Ryder's still defending his title against Swagger, even with the taped-up midsection. Swagger basically attacked that area all match. Swagger with three gut-wrench powerbombs. Le ouch. Fitting that Laurinaitis only gets the doctor's note AFTER the match is over.

Perez Hilton? Good grief...why? Divas tag match ring announcer? This will be a waste of my time, I just know it. Oh, at least it was brief. Perez prevents the Twin Magic spot from occurring, so the faces won. But seriously? Perez gets pushed down from the Bellas shove? Wimp. And look, two beauties come to the rescue. Man, that Perez guy is one tough hombre.... #wasteoftime trending on Twitter!

Barrett and R-Truth promos. Vintage Truth promo! Truth's promo was hella funny. Leave it to Miz to spoil the party. Sheamus evens the sides. Long says let's have a mini Royal Rumble...four guys in an over-the-top battle royal. Miz helps eliminate Barrett. Decent match here with Truth dumping Sheamus and Miz over to win.

Cena and Kane at the Rumble. Gee, who didn't see that one coming?

Swagger's pulling double duty tonight. Cena's enraged! Finally, ruthless aggression from Cena again! This wasn't even a match, by the way. Cena'sabout to drop the steps on Swagger's head and Kane's presence is felt. I'm liking the storyline. I want the ruthless aggression of Cena, not some Hulk Hogan wannabe. Freshen up Cena's character. This transformation (whichI hope they completely go through on) looks promising.

Funkasaurus on RAW! I have to admit, I'm entertained. I just wish they let Naomi wrestle instead of be a Funkasaurus dancer. JTG's the man to job tonight. Wonder how long this one will be. About a minute and a half. "Ah, Funk It!" The name of Brodus' finisher, apparently.

Switching to serious on AJ's injury. Seriously, that had to hurt to get run into by a 450-pound guy, I must admit. Daniel Bryan with a pre-match promo. Nice heelish promo from DB. Gonna love this heel turn. I just know it. Just don't screw it up, WWE.

Jericho comes out to the huge pop and does well to stall as they do a commercial break. Dolph and Punk start, which I like. Rare botch from DB trying to hurdle Ziggler, but Dolph covers up very well. "Daniel Bryan" trending worldwide on Twitter! Crowd wants Jericho, though. Jericho is a master at keeping the crowd fired up...he knows they all want to see him in the ring. Jericho gets the tag, he celebrates, then tags a confused DB and leaves. Brilliant! No really, I like it. Jericho leaves the ring, so it's a handicap match now.

DB's leg gets worked on, and he and Henry end up in the back. Hey, Foley's back -- and he's gonna be Punk's new tag partner! Vintage Foley! That was great.

Punk was absolute gold on the mic after the match. But you already knew that. Laurinaitis was the one who surprised me...heck, he impressed me with the end promo. Johnny finally shows some attitude!

Can't wait for next week. It was a lame show for wrestling (except the final match), but a lot of great promos.

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