Monday, October 12, 2009

10/12/09 RAW

The Big Show vs. Chris Jericho: DUD

Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James (Divas Title): DUD

Melina vs. Jillian Hall (Divas Title): DUD

Cody Rhodes vs. Ted DiBiase vs. John Cena: *1/2

Jack Swagger vs. MVP: 3/4*

Kofi Kingston vs. Evan Bourne: *1/2

Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, & Maria Menounos vs. Beth Phoenix, Rosa Mendes, & Alicia Fox: 1/4*

Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase vs. John Cena & Randy Orton: *

This show epic fails.

How, you ask? Simply put, it somehow got me to rate Jericho's match a DUD. Also, divas got air time to wrestle, and that failed (no surprise). It's hard to say this show was any good when:

(1) The highest rated match doesn't even get two stars, and
(2) The average match rating for the night was HALF A STAR. Seriously.

Melina was the first Diva to be announced as part of a seven-Diva, tri-brand trade made possible by guest host Nancy O'Dell. But seriously, did we really need Jillian to be a transitional champ for all of about five minutes? It just cheapens the belt. And let's face it, the Divas Title was actually one of the titles that had actually been doing well in giving champions long reigns (likely moreso because there is a lack of true wrestling talent).

In the end, three DUDs started the show off, which is a first under my ratings system. And technically, those matches were bad enough such that, if the Divas matches went longer than four minutes, I'd be giving them negative stars.

Hey, how do you botch a 24-second match? Ask the Divas!

Kofi's Trouble in Paradise hitting a flying Evan Bourne was pretty cool in an entertaining match that got too little time for me to enjoy fully. It got the same rating as the long-winded Triple Threat. Even with the Triple Threat getting a stronger crowd reaction (due to Cena), the offense of Legacy was just boring. I could have worked on my law memo and come back and not missed much.

The best part of the night? Santino. A close second would be Hornswoggle delivering "Sweet Chin Music" to a Shawn Michaels cardboard cutout. Hell, Hornswoggle has given new meaning to the term "Sweet Shin Music."

As noted earlier, seven Divas are changing brands in that tri-brand trade. Here they are:

(1) Melina traded from Smackdown to RAW
(2) Beth Phoenix traded from RAW to Smackdown
(3) Mickie James traded from RAW to Smackdown
(4) Rosa Mendes traded from RAW to ECW
(5) Brie Bella traded from ECW to RAW
(6) Nikki Bella traded from ECW to RAW
(7) Eve traded from Smackdown to RAW

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